Wednesday’s Show Synopsis……….

Ben Boyd, Wed, 28 May 2008 21:39:00 GMT

Wednesday's Show Synopsis

Doug couldn’t sleep last night because there were loud noises coming from his attic, and he originally thought there was a buffalo up there…….Cat can’t believe Doug didn’t go up there to get whatever was up there to leave, and suggested that he needs to stick his head up there with a frying pan in front of his face incase the animal does a face charge……..Tim offered to pay Doug $6 to tape him going into the attic to put it on his website…..A caller suggests he may have honey badgers in his attic, and another caller says it may be squirrels…..Cat said maybe Doug’s wife is having an affair with a squirrel…..Another caller says that peppermint oil or peppermint alcohol would scare any animals that are up there…….Doug thinks it’s a raccoon, but Cat has come to the conclusion he probably has a baby giraffe up there…….Doug may have a collection of animals up there and he could open a petting zoo and charge families to come pet his animals.

Kimbo Slice is one scary guy. He will be fighting on CBS on Saturday, and they won’t let him wear his sponsor on the back of his shirt….Cat wonders what if Kimbo Slice and a squirrel are living up in the attic…..A website suggests to turn on a radio up there to scare the animal away…….The Cardinals bullpen would be very interested in hunting whatever is up there.

A radio host out of Pittsburgh was whacked because of his comments about Ted Kennedy. After learning that Kennedy had been diagnosed with cancer, Mark Madden said that he was disappointed because he had hoped Kennedy would’ve lived long enough to be assassinated…..The guys discuss if he should be fired or not, and Tim wonders about the details of his contract.

Cat’s Pajamas:
there was controversy in the fsn post game show last night because al hrabosky took a shot at the cat for not being able to work in “clam baked” into his post-game interview. however, cat said that al was wrong because he was challenged to work in 2 phrases—-hair-brained and clam baked—–and he got them in the broadcast in the pre-game show…..jose canseco had said that he would fight anyone for $5,000, and he has found a fight partner in vai sikahema, who has a boxing background……cat is confused by the city’s new anti-panhandling law—if it isn’t ok in those situations, why is it ok other times?

The guys can’t figure out why Ryan Ludwick wasn’t in the lineup last night. Doug said it borders on malpractice, and he guesses it stems from Tony being a genius and no one else is…..The guys wonder if Ludwick is on Tony’s bad side…..Cat said if you are Ryan Ludwick you don’t say anything publicly about not playing, and he thinks that it could be that Tony is trying to get Duncan’s bat going…..There is no logical baseball reason behind keeping your hottest hitter on the bench.

dave duncan:
Joel Pineiro will not make his next start. Yesterday, they did a MRI and the severity of the groin pull was more severe than previously thought. Dave’s inclination would be to give Mike Parisi the start and call someone up like Kelvin Jimenez to take his place in the bullpen….Duncan said it’s important not to bounce Anthony Reyes back and forth so you don’t disrupt what he is accomplishing down there……Chris Perez has handled himself real well. Off the field he has conducted himself well, and he is taking in how to be a major league player. He has been very consistent in his performances, and he has pitched with a lot of confidence…….Dave said he blames himself a little bit for Braden Looper’s performance last night because he told him how impressive he needed to be against the Astros’ hot hitters. Dave said that Looper pitched too conservatively, and he let the counts get away from him. When his curve ball is hitting the strike zone, he has more confidence and it makes his fastball more effective……Neither Tony nor Dave call the pitches during the game. Yadier Molina and the pitcher are in control of the pitch selection, and Dave said before the game, they make sure Yadi and the pitcher are on the same page in how to attack each hitter…….Dave sees some guys in the minor league system that have the physical ability to pitch in the majors, and now they need to develop the consistency to be able to compete everyday in the big leagues…….Todd Wellemeyer gives you the impression he is a little goofy, but he is very serious and conscientious in his work and does everything he needs to do in preparation for his starts. He is very good to work with and very open to doing whatever he needs to do to be the best he can be. He doesn’t have the assortment of pitches that someone like Wainwright does. When his power isn’t working, he doesn’t have an alternative………Dave said he is in pretty good contact with Chris Carpenter, Mark Mulder, and Matt Clement…..Carpenter is making good progress and is throwing simulated games. Duncan is very optimistic about Carpenter being able to help the Cards in the near future. Mark Mulder has had a mild setback, and everyone is mildly concerned. There is a legitimate question in what will happen with Mulder. Dave talked with him yesterday, and he said he can’t get his arm in the right position and he has no control over it. His arm seems to drop and his elbow seems to drop. Dave said they are hoping something can be done, but otherwise they will have to look at an alternative. Mulder is getting frustrated at not getting to the point where he wants to be.……..Matt Clement is making slow progress, and the team is looking at him as being close to going on a rehab assignment to see how effective he can be in a competitive environment……Dave believes Izzy will come back and be a productive pitcher for the Cards. He is really throwing the ball good down in Florida. He is throwing bullpen sessions…..Chris Perez is a young pitcher who will have the time to establish himself. He will get his opportunity and there is no rush to get him into the closer role. Ryan Franklin has done well, and Dave said he would like to see Perez gain more experience in the majors before he is put in the closer spot.

Brendan Ryan:
Brendan said Doug has some problems if he has a squirrel in his attic….Brendan said he needs to retire his pink shirt because he went back to back without getting a hit when he wore it……Ryan is squatting at Todd Wellemeyer’s house, and they play a lot of videogames……Brendan needs to ride the Metro Link to the Galleria soon…… Wellemeyer is awesome; he is insightful. Todd is a very different cat…… The guys want to make a reality show of Wellemeyer and Ryan living together with J-Rod as their chef. Brendan offered to cook, and Todd looked at him like he was going to poison him…..Ryan said he would like to live with Jason LaRue because he is a Metro-Redneck. Brendan said he can’t figure out why Jason shaves his legs.

Leftover Riff Raff:
doug is sure he will be bit in the face by a rodent before his attic situation is said and done……’s good for the economy to play ludwick…..doug only has one pan so he has to go beg in the cwe for another one before he sticks his head in the attic …..brendan ryan does not pop his collar, and he doesn’t think anyone on the team does…..albert pujols has snake skin on his spikes…..the squirrel in doug’s attic might be having an affair with doug’s wife.