Brendan Marks, Fri, 14 Nov 2014 16:19:00 GMT
KG in O Town won Friday’s GFI Digital Email of the Day on The Ryan Kelley Morning After for this prose on the unknown whereabouts of producer Willie Springer.
So glad to hear Willie is OK. While oversleeping was the most obvious choice of what happened, I thought of a few other possibilities. Warning: Some of them can be a bit disturbing, so young children may want to change the channel.
1) Willie spent a few hours reelin’ in a biggun on Tinder. I’m talking offensive lineman big. I’m talking uses a motorized scooter to get around the grocery store big. After a night of Fireball shots and tater tots, Willie wakes up at her place. She’s fast asleep on his arm, all sunggled up with her Mark Mangino-esque head on his sweaty chest full of matted hair and tater tot crumbles and Willie was trying to find a way to chew his arm off to escape without waking her. #coyoteugly
B) Willie went for a run and….eh nevermind, I think we know that didn’t happen.
3) Joe Roderick traded Peyton Manning and Marshawn Lynch for a night with Willie, and Willie wasn’t allowed to leave until Roderick hit it again in the morning. If Willie is walking all bow-legged and clinching his hind quarters, we’ll know what happened.
I’ll give you a hint. #3 is the answer.
WAR The Killers. Ha
KG in O Town
GFI Digital Email of the Day