— The Morning After (@TMASTL) July 8, 2016
With your eternal life partner,
Cucky the Dwarf
It was the night of the stepdad dance at the old CBC and I was totally pumped. My step-pop got me the sweetest corsage. We took a stretch hummer with a few other step couples and it was filled with warm tuna fish hors d’oeuvres. We ate a ton tuna off the bellies of our stepfathers.
After doing the cha cha slide I felt a rumbly in my tumbly. I wanted to be alone so I ran to the cool kids bathroom down by the locker room and began the big brown exodus. Then I heard some tough and cool stepdads come in the bathroom to smoke some squares.
I got up to make sure the door was latched on my stall and I guess one of my brown trouts felt frisky and jumped from me bum to me leg and pant proper.
“Sniff sniff. I know that special blend of stink. Cucky is that you?” It was my glorious stepdad.
“Yea pop. I pooped meself. Again.”
My stepdad carried me naked through the crowd and out to the limo. He got naked too in solidarity. Everyone slow clapped us out. It was magical.
Doug you remember. You were there.
Cucky Kennedy Onassis
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