— The Morning After (@TMASTL) June 2, 2016
TMA: Tuna Tales
This email sponsored by Wicked Tuna. The #1 rated Tuna based reality show on The History Channel. Now in HD.
“Beep. Beep. Beep.” A large white semi truck backed up to a mysterious loading dock. The Chinatown district of St. Louis was alive with illegal activity today. “Help me get the product off this rig or the Boss will skin us alive.” Said a hot dock worker.
The boss was none other than Dougie Tuna. America’s number one illegal tuna fish kingpin. He sat on his thrown of tuna cans as he was adorned in a beautiful tuna skin gown. The scales glistened in the fluorescent light. “Did my shipment of tuna come in today?” He asked a minion.
“It’s at the dock now, sir.”
Dougie Tuna was wearing shoes made from two baby tuna with holes cut out for feet. He also kept a tuna bone scepter by his side. As he sipped his tuna fish smoothie he pounded his fist on the table and proclaimed, “I need more tuna!”
Little did Dougie Tuna know, FBI Agent James Hayes and world renowned Marine Biologist Charlie Marmot were tracking his every move. Time was running out…
To be continued…
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