Thursday’s “The Ryan Kelley Morning After” Email of the Day was won by “Cucky The Dwarf,” who’s now in the lead for Email of the Month with four wins.
Here’s the email. Listen to the reading below:
TMA: Naked and Afraid In Lemay Edition
Two contestants entered the concrete jungle amongst the stray dogs ready to survive for 21 days. A northeastern ex navy seal named Jimmy “The Panther” Hayes and “Dilly Boy” Doug, a geriatric cross-dressing hag from the Midwest.
After an awkward nude introduction, they both reveal the tools they have chosen to bring. The Panther chose his gpa’s old flint fire starter to complement their macheté. Dilly Boy Doug brought his most useful tool. A rainbow colored 16 inch double sided dilly with a compass in the middle.
“Really?” Said the Panther.
Dilly boy grunted, smiled, and winked.
Within minutes, The Panther had a shelter, fire, and meat. Dilly Boy on the other hand, drank some bad water and was writhing around in his own poop.
The Panthers Primitive Survival Rating is 8.9
Dilly Boys PSR is -6.
Keep it 1hunnit.
Cucky the survival Dwarf