Email of the Day (8/3/16): Oh gosh yeah

Edward Scissorhands' shrubs

You can read the winning Email of the Day here:

Guys Plops here…

I shot over to that Lemay pool at Jefferson Barracks the other day because, like any normal person, I like to take the majority of my clothes off, lotion up and then sit around judging people.  I learned a few things this time around.  First off, nothing makes a girl with a giant tattoo of Jesus on the side of her stomach look hotter (and more spiritual) than a yellow bikini and an unplanned pregnancy.  Second, nothing gives off the “I live off South Broadway and beat my wife” vibe quite like a man swimming in jean shorts. Finally, don’t bring a Venus razor and snipy-snipy’s and think you’re going to lay in the shallow water, pull your speedo to the side and go “eddie scissorhands” on that taint-tickling-tumbleweed or yours.  I wanted to give me shrub a “mid-summers shape up” and that twink lifeguard blew his whistle at me like the dickens!  Oh gosh yeah he did, they kicked me right out of there.  Jefferson Barracks Pool has suspended me for 2 days time, and as you’d suspect, it hasn’t felt very good.

Well, see ya’s later.

-“The crown prince of Oakville Proper”…The Elusive Misty Plops

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