Back in 1994, 1995, 1996, and 1997, sports wagering was a large part of my autumn weekends.

And, when betting on sports...just like most of you may be experiencing right now...I would consistently lose. It was amazing how it would work, but losing was just part of it...no matter how much you "studied."

I believe we're about 10 years to the day that I anchored my first sportscast at KOMU-TV in Columbia...and once I got into that stuff, I thought it was best to get out of the sports wagering game. My final bet was on Missouri in the 1998 Insight.com Bowl, in which a very good (but forgotten in some casual fans' minds) Tiger team was a 3.5 point favorite against Marc Bulger and West Virginia.

I bet $200 on that game...which was like a million dollars back then. And, naturally, Missouri had a giant lead, blew that lead, and then wound up holding on to win by 3 points...meaning I lost my bet by 1/2 of a point.

Sweet.

That was it.

A loss like that made it easy to stay away.

But, I still follow the spreads...I just don't wager on games.

However, from my sports wagering background, I do (think) I have a good grasp on picking against the spreads. And, this season, I'll be able to do it for all to see here in From The Desk of Tim McKernan on insideSTL.com.

Starting today, our STL Rams' writer Howard Balzer will make his picks against a Hooters' waitress (a new one every week). While Howard is hot, I'm sure they'll be some even better eye candy in terms of the pictures of his opponent each week. And, the best part about it is that you'll be able to fill out your own picks against Howard and the Hooters' waitress...and you can win some strong prizes from Hooters.

But, before we get to the Howard vs. Hooters picks page, it's time for me to reveal what I got for Week 1 of the NFL. I set my goal for 2008 to win 60% of my plays against the spread. I set the bar low, so that success will come easier. It's a fine way to wager...and live:

Thursday Night Football

Washington at New York Giants (-4): I didn't believe in the Giants last year. I don't believe in them now. I could see them winning, but I like the Redskins and the points. Pick: Redskins (+4)

Sunday

Rams at Eagles (-7.5): I think, if you visit this site or listen to the radio program, it's pretty clear I'm not on any local team's payroll...so I have no obligation to bullshit you. For whatever reason, I think the Rams are going to be better than expected this year...which, once again, is setting the bar low...because they're expected to be dreadful. But, I'll take the over on the Rams 6.5 wins that they've set out in Las Vegas, and I'll go with the Rams and the points Sunday in Philadelphia. Pick: Rams (+7.5)

Bengals (-1.5) at Ravens: I admire a man who changes his name to Ocho Cinco. And, based on the team's impressive arrest record, the Bengals' locker room must be a cross between Goodfellas and Boyz N The Hood. That's impressive, but not enough to overcome a home underdog. Pick: Ravens (+1)

Jets (-3) at Dolphins: I believe the Jets will be the surprise team in the NFL this year...and I thought that was possible before Brett Favre arrived. So, considering they're starting off at the dreadful Dolphins, I think that revamped Jets' O-line will give Favre all the time he needs to carve up the fish. The home underdog rule does not apply to the Dolphins. Pick: Jets (-3)

Chiefs at Patriots (-16): This year could be a good test for football's equivalent of "the best fans in baseball." If you think Cardinal baseball fans can be self-important...and if you think I can be self-important...spend five minutes with a Chiefs' fan. I'm anxious to see what Arrowhead will look like in mid-November when "the best fans in football" have a team buried in the AFC West. Pick: Patriots (-16)

Texans at Steelers (-6.5): I think the Steelers will be a hell of a team this year, but I've got a weird feeling about this one...and when I have a weird feeling, and it's not the result of me sitting on my hand for a half-hour, I got to go with it. Pick: Texans (+6.5)

Jaguars (-3) at Titans: The Jaguars are supposed to be a Super Bowl contender this season. They have a hell of a defense, but they're dealing with a difficult week following the shooting of offensive lineman Richard Collier. Tennessee is a tough place to play, and Jeff Fisher looks like he should be driving a Corvette around Francis Park attempting to pick up bitches. Pick: Titans (+3)

Lions (-3) at Falcons: How bad are the Falcons supposed to be? The Lions are favored on the road against them. If this game were played in the Big XII and not the NFL, this would be Iowa State versus Baylor. I would've gone with the Lions, but since RB Tatum Bell is swiping new teammate Rudi Johnson's luggage, I'll go with the Falcons. At least their criminal is no longer on the team. Pick: Falcons (+3)

Seahawks at Bills (-1): A one point spread screams suspicious to me. The Bills aren't supposed to be all that great. And, the Seahawks are only second to the Cowboys in Las Vegas when it comes to the NFC team most likely to make it to the Super Bowl. Strange. And, when it's strange, bet the opposite. If strange shit didn't happen, bookies wouldn't be in business. Pick: Bills (+1)

Bucs at Saints (-3.5): I like this one a lot...which means I'll probably be wrong. The Saints have high expectations this season, while the Bucs are quarterbacked by Jeff Garcia. And, the only value that Garcia has is that he's the only person in a marriage that's more of a looks mismatch than mine. Of course, Sunday afternoon, he'll lose a football game and go home to a former Playmate of The Year. I'll lose a poker tournament and go pleasure myself. So, he wins that battle...but he loses this game. Pick: Saints (-3.5)

Cowboys (-5.5) at Browns: The Cowboys are everybody's darling in the NFC this year. Part of that is because of the big names that fill the roster, and part of it is because everyone got to see on HBO's Hard Knocks that Wade Phillips' training camp in 2008 makes Barry Switzer's "discipline" of the 1995 Cowboys and the infamous "White House," which was chock full of coke and strippers, look like the Kim Jong Il administration. If a team's potential were based on pranks, punt catching contests, and coaches participating in dance contests, the Cowboys would be a five-star play for the Super Bowl. Seriously, is Pac-Man "Adam" Jones slipping Dave Campo some chronic before practice? What the fuck happened to that guy? One minute he's the head coach. The next minute he's dancing like he's at a rave in 1995 lit up on E bombs...during fucking practice. Pick: Browns (+5.5)

Panthers at Chargers (-9): While I don't think it's a good sign for a teammate to steal another teammate's luggage (see: Lions, Detroit), I think it's even worse for a defensive back to get his ass kicked by a smaller wide receiver in training camp, and then call it a good thing for the team. How bad were things before Steve Smith whipped your ass, Ken Lucas? They must be getting really "good" now, since the Panthers just stripped Smith of his captain status. The only positive that came from that move yesterday was that Smith went into hiding when the media arrived in the Carolina locker room...which was a pleasant surprise, since he's usually sitting their blasting an air horn to get them out. Impressive. These Panthers are really ready to roar. Pick: Chargers (-9)

Cardinals (-2.5) at 49ers: Mike Martz and Isaac Bruce are reunited in San Francisco. Kurt Warner will be quarterbacking the Cardinals. Just to complete the reunion, it'd be the classy thing to do for the 49ers to allow Az Hakim to come out and fumble a punt right before kickoff. Pick: Cardinals (-2.5)

Bears at Colts (-9.5): If something were to happen to Devin Hester, it's possible the Bears would go scoreless this season. The Colts are opening up a new building. The Bears are SEMO. The Colts are Missouri. As the great Bubba Sparxx said, "It's gonna get ugly." Pick: Colts (-9)

Monday Night Football

Vikings at Packers (-2.5): I'll take the Vikings, just because I hope to see the hell that breaks loose if Aaron Rodgers has a bad game. If that happens, I think we'll just tap into Green Bay sports talk radio on Tuesday morning to listen to a potpourri of involuntarily chaste gentlemen calling in demanding Matt Flynn get next week's start. Pick: Vikings (+2.5)

Broncos (-3) at Raiders: At some point, the millions of Raiders' first round draft picks (sans Robert Gallery) will have to begin to pan out. And, at some point, the Broncos' streak of turning randoms into legends will have to run out. Furthermore, the meth levels in the stands for a Monday Night Football opener in Oakland will make Kansas City look like Amish farmland. Pick: Raiders (+3)

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