On this date three years ago, we launched insideSTL.com.

To say I had no idea what I was in for would be a nice, little understatement.

I'm as qualified to run a company as certain people are to run a country.

However, courtesy of knowing the only way to have some semblance of success is to surround myself with people much more intelligent and, well, likeable than me...we've made it to our third anniversary.

If you're scoring at home and actually give a damn about this stuff, insideSTL.com is the 6th most-viewed website in St. Louis (according to the rankings of alexa.com), behind only stltoday.com, ksdk.com, myfoxstl.com, kmov.com, and riverfronttimes.com). We are now up to averaging nearly 11,000 unique visitors per day.

I know none of this shit matters to the vast majority of you...but I guess I'm hoping someone who owns a business and doesn't worry about what their neighbors will think of them if they advertise on a site that (gasp) has pictures of attractive people on it, will realize they can reach thousands of young St. Louisans by buying banners on insideSTL.com. After all, the Rams and Anheuser-Busch...among others...have their banners all over this site.

But, occasionally, we run into the do-gooders who---while they personally love the Girls Next Door,  Cougars Next Door, and Maggie's columns---couldn't possibly advertise on a site where someone (ie, old bat)  might say something and complain.

The "I wonder what my neighbors will think of me" crowd that exists in St. Louis plays a wonderful role in the regression of our city, in my opinion. It's a 1950's-caliber battle we fight daily here at insideSTL.com.

Maybe I just need to sell out and appease the hypocrites in corporations by writing nice, flowery pieces on local teams and businesses and stop writing the devil's word (FUCK) in my stories.

Maybe Maggie should condemn bicurious women and  talk about the myth---errrrrr---value of the missionary position.

Maybe we'll cloak all of the young ladies (and older ladies) who want to participate in the Girl Next Door and Cougar Next Door contests in parkas---or perhaps, better yet, burkas---so as not to let the angry, sexually repressed, vocal minority who condemn such "exploitation of women" feel uncomfortable when they visit a site that 10,000 other people seem to enjoy for some reason or another.

Maybe...

...we'll work on that for Year 4.

But, before we go against everything I believe in so as to appease the hypocrites...why don't  we host a little cocktail party to celebrate the first three years of doing things the honest, real, and right way?

Next Saturday at Lumen (2201 Locust Street in downtown St. Louis), Charter Communications Presents The insideSTL.com Third Anniversary Party.

We'll be having an invite only pre-party for sponsors, clients, staff, Girls Next Door, Cougars Next Door, and owners...sans the Cubs' centerfielder, who will be missing his first insideSTL.com anniversary party. That will go from 6:30 to 7:30.

At 7:30, we'll open the doors to the public. There will be a $10 cover charge, but I'd like to think the entertainment value will be well worth it. Here's what we have lined up for the evening:

At around 7:45, Team 1380's ITD Morning After, featuring me, Jimmy "The Cat" Hayes, and Doug Vaughn will take the stage to do a live broadcast of the "award-winning" radio program. As I write this, we have a number of people in the mix to be guests on the show...numerous Cardinals and Blues (the Rams have a preseason game that night)...and numerous friends of the show. Names like Todd Wellemeyer, Kyle Lohse, Ryan Ludwick, Mike Shannon, Keith Tkachuk, Barrett Jackman, and Kelly Chase are all in the mix for next Saturday.

Also appearing on the show that evening will be anniversary party staples Rudy and Mickey Carroll. They'll bring the heat, as they tend to do when making public appearances.

Finally, as one of our sponsors for the evening, the good people at PenthouseTV OnDemand (which is available through your local cable provider in St. Louis on Channel 1) are providing us with a lovely guest for the radio program in St. Louis' own Cali Taylor, who is this year's Penthouse Pet of The Month for February.

Cali appeared on the show at that other place, and if you recall, she is the one who I had this exchange with:

Me: So, are you bisexual?

Cali: No, my name is Cali.

Perfect.

Cali was a hell of a guest with a great personality, and we look forward to having the pride of Ritenour High School join us for a segment on the radio program.

Following the broadcast of The ITD Morning After, insideSTL.com will host a Girls Next Door lingerie contest.

As of right now, a minimum of 12 past/present/future Girls Next Door will be partaking in the contest in which the winner will receive $1,500, 2nd place will receive $500, and 3rd place will receive $250.

Unlike Girl Next Door contests, this one will be decided by crowd noise courtesy of a decibel meter that will be projected for all ladies and gentlemen to see. That's half the vote. The other half of the vote will be determined by our three celebrity judge teams:

1. Ritenour grad and February 2008 Penthouse Pet of The Month Cali Taylor

2. Producer Joe and Iggy of The ITD Morning After

3. Mickey Carroll and Rudy

I think it's critical to get the input of expert judges when handing out more than $2,000 in prize money for a lingerie contest, and therefore, we've called in the best of the best to provide their analysis and award scores to the lovely Girls Next Door participating.

Speaking of which, here are the pictures of the Girls Next Door participating as of right now, with the good chance of adding some more as the evening approaches next Saturday:

 Miranda

Alyson

Jessy

Samantha

 Lauren

Sloane

Angie

Amie

Danielle

Dana

Amanda

Lauren

Jane

 Sharayah

 Amy

Following the insideSTL.com Girls Next Door lingerie contest, we'll be enjoying an after party at The Pepper Lounge, presented by Penthouse. So, shoot down a few blocks to the east from Lumen and enjoy the post-game festivities at The Pepper Lounge, where right next door at Nectar, Orlando Pace will be hosting a Rams' party after their game with the Ravens.

On paper, it looks like a lovely evening for families throughout the area to enjoy together. So, come one. Come all...to Charter's Presentation of The insideSTL.com Third Anniversary Party Saturday August 23rd at Lumen...and Penthouse's Presentation of The insideSTL.com After Party.

It'll be an evening of creeps and class...all rolled into one. All in honor of three years of creeps and class on insideSTL.com.

Post your comments below...or you can email me at tmckernan@insidestl.com.