insideSTL.com Summerfest Tomorrow At Bar 101 In Soulard: $20 All-You-Can Drink Schlafly, Sand Volleyball, Bikini Contest, Beer Pong, Washers, Chicken Wing-Eating Contest For Guys, Watermelon-Eating Contest For Girls, Bikini Volleyball, Cam Janssen, Ben Bishop, Athletica And U.S. Soccer Gold Medalist Hope Solo, Playboy Playmate Amber Campisi, And Adult Film Star Bree Olson
Just wanted to get it all out there.
The doors open at noon tomorrow at Bar 101 in Soulard.
And, then it's game on.
$20 at the door for all-you-can-drink Schlafly products all day long. Or, if you don't want that deal for whatever reason, it's just a $5 cover. Drink specials will be plentiful, as will BBQ.
The weather is supposed to be perfect, and that will lend itself to some fine festivities for the sand volleyball tournament, washers, beer pong, Johnny's chicken wing-eating contest for the gentlemen, watermelon-eating contest for the ladies, bikini volleyball game, and...of course...the bikini contest.
We have Girls Next Door participating. Soulard-area bartenders participating. Johnny's waitresses participating. And, some fine Americans judging.
The roster for our panel of star-studded judges is officially complete, and I'm quite happy to announce our five judges are made up of two members of the St. Louis Blues, a U.S. soccer gold medalist, a Playboy Playmate, and...obviously...a porn star.
Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 insideSTL.com Summerfest Bikini Contest Judges:
Cam Janssen: The Pride of Eureka may be known by some for being one of the Blues' tough guys, but I believe more Americans know him for casting the deciding vote in our June bikini contest. Faced with a great deal of pressure and all the eyes of St. Louis on him, he gave Danielle Raye a 10 and Betty Loza a 9. That's courage. That's commitment. That's what it takes to be a bikini contest judge. And, it will be our pleasure to welcome Mr. Janssen Saturday at Bar 101 as he grades our bikini contestants.
Ben Bishop: The Pride of Chaminade made his NHL debut last season when Blues' goalie Manny Legace slipped and injured himself on the carpet rolled out for Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. And, he made his insideSTL.com judging debut when Erik Johnson had to go to a 1 year-old's birthday party last month. But, he and his Chaminade posse enjoyed themselves enough at our recent festivities that they're coming back for more tomorrow at Bar 101. At 6'7", Bishop is the tallest goalie in the NHL. I believe his height gives him perspective on the contestants that the average sized person just can't get from normal height. He sees things we just can't see, and that may explain why he was one of our harshest judges at the last event.
Hope Solo: 359 days ago, Hope was winning a gold medal as the U.S. Women's National Soccer team defeated Brazil 1-0...thanks to Hope's beyond impressive goalkeeping. A year later, she'll have an even more important responsibility as she'll be judging girls from around the St. Louis area in a bikini contest. Perhaps best known for going off on her coach for not starting her in the U.S. loss at the 2007 World Cup---and then being sent home from China by the team before the third place game because of her comments---it's my belief that Hope will be the Simon Cowell of the panel...and have no problem calling it how she sees it. If she isn't afraid to call out her head coach following a heartbreaking loss in the World Cup semi's, then my guess is she won't hesitate to address the leg fat of a bikini contestant.
Amber Campisi: The February 2005 Playboy Playmate has gained fame most recently as Kendra's roommate on the E! reality TV show Kendra, in which she shared the spotlight with the former co-star of The Girls Next Door, Playboy Playmate Kendra Baskett (formerly Wilkinson). She'll be hosting The Mid-Summer Night's Dream Party at F15teen (1900 Locust) Saturday night. She's a reality TV Star and a Playmate, but my guess is, however, most of the great Americans at Bar 101 Saturday will remember her more for her 36DD chest. Not trying to be a creep...just kind of calling it how I (think I will) see it. Fun fact for know and tell: her father owns and runs Campisi's Restaurants in Dallas. Jack Ruby dined at Campisi's before going over to shoot Lee Harvey Oswald in 1963. Does that qualify her to be a judge? No. Does it fill up more space so we can put a picture that will show off her monster breasts next to this worthless anecdote? Yes.
Bree Olson: The Fort Wayne, Indiana resident is living her dream, and at insideSTL.com, we support that. Bree says she wanted to be a porn star since she was a young girl, and you know what? She's pulled it off. Bree, much like our insideSTL.com Wednesday columnist Kayden Kross, is an Adam And Eve contract girl. She's performed in over 140 adult films. But, some of her best work may be on Twitter. Her tweets are about as straight to the point as it gets. Here's a little example from this week:
"Since I am sick and bed riddin I have one thing on the mind. Sex! Any men in fort Wayne that wanna come shoot their load in my pussy?"
Perfect.
It's our honor to have the lovely Bree Olson as one of our judges Saturday at the insideSTL.com Summerfest. And, if you can't get enough of Bree---which would be quite understandable---make sure you check her out at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club where she'll be performing each night. The Hustler Club is located at 5420 Bunkum Road in Washington Park, Illinois.
Speaking of Bree...I got a chance to speak with Bree Thursday. And, so...I present:
An Interview With Bree Olson
Yeah...this was just a phone conversation...but it was a memorable one.
I guess we'll start here:
Bree: Do you hear that? (whirring noise in the background)
Me: What's that?
Bree: That's a vibrator. I'm using it on myself as we do the interview. It's a standard six inch vibrator that I travel with that I call Mr. Silver. Then, I have a new glass dildo because I broke the other one when I was fucking it too hard. Did you see that Tweet?
Me: Yes. Yes, I did. Your Tweets on Twitter are some of the most famous I can think of. Pretty graphic. Be honest with me. Are you just saying that shit to turn randoms on...or are you really 
looking for some guy to come over and bang you?
Bree: Oh, fuck yeah. I'm dead serious. It turns me on to meet a guy on a chat line. Like one of those phone chat lines? I'll call one of those, and then I'll wind up meeting a guy and fucking.
Me: You're kidding me.
Bree: No. I'm completely serious. We'll meet at a hotel. The shittier the hotel the better.
Me: And, you'll just hook up with any random dude you meet on a chat line. So, if some 70 year-old, 300 pound guy shows up at the hotel, you're down?
Bree: Well, not 70.
Me: So you have standards.
Bree: Yeah. Like 40 is ok. I've hooked up with guys off of MySpace, BreeOlson.com, and Twitter...but not Facebook. But, I was hanging out the other night, and this guy I had fucked told me that we met on Facebook, so I guess I have met up with someone off of Facebook, too.
Me: And this turns you on? To just meet random dudes and have sex with them? What if they're not hot at all?
Bree: It's mind over matter. I'm just turned on by the whole idea of meeting a stranger and having sex in a dirty hotel. Plus, I'll usually go on the chat lines and tell people that I'm pregnant.
Me: But, you're not.
Bree: I know. But, I have a pregnancy fetish. It turns me on to think of myself as pregnant. So, I tell these guys I'm pregnant. Then we meet up, and I can stick my stomach out enough so that it looks like I'm 3 or 4 months pregnant, and it turns me on so much. I tell my friends that when I'm pregnant, I'm going to be so horny that my husband better be ready, because I'm going to be looking to fuck everyone.
Me: To be honest, it kind of sounds like that's the way it is right now. Would you say you're a nympho?
Bree: Uh, yeah. I'm like the ultimate sex addict. Like, I like to masturbate for five hours at a time. And, if I have an orgasm too quickly, it pisses me off because I just like to masturbate.
Me: Just 
with Mr. Silver?
Bree: No. I like to use Mr. Silver to get off, and then I shove the glass dildo in one of my two holes...depending on the mood.
Me: So, you're into anal.
Bree: Oh, yeah. And, I have been for a long time. I had a girlfriend for four years when I was younger, and she was the one who turned me on to it. So, I was living at my parents' house, and I loved having things up my ass so much that I'm looking to put anything in there. Curling irons. Whatever. I even took the leg of one of my parents' chairs and shoved it up there. And, you know what? It felt incredible.
################
We'll end the interview there. It's kind of like Michael Jordan retiring after hitting the jump shot over Byron Russell to win the 1998 NBA Finals. You can't get out on a better play than that...and I don't think I can get out at a better point than a porn star telling me she used to shove her parents' furniture legs up her ass.
If you want to see Bree---and my guess is that you're a little more intrigued after reading the above---check her out at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club this weekend. She's performing nightly at the outstanding club in Washington Park, Illinois. You can also follow her on Twitter at BreeOlson9, visit her webpage at www.BreeOlson.com, or you can head to Bar 101 Saturday in Soulard and see Bree in action as one of our judges for the bikini contest. Bring your own furniture.
Little Pieces of Knowledge
-This week on The ITD Morning After, FoxSports.com's Ken Rosenthal said he spoke with a National League General Manager who told him to expect two surprises in the 
coming months: 1. The Rockies would overtake the Dodgers to win the NL West, and 2. The Cardinals would win the World Series.
-A Joe Strauss of the Post-Dispatch Tweet on Twitter yesterday: "True fact: No TLR (Tony La Russa) team has missed the playoffs after leading division by 4.5 games."
-The lineup of Girls Next Door for next Sunday's insideSTL.com Pool Party And Fashion Show on the Sky Terrace at The Four Seasons is comparable to the 1989 Oakland A's as far as depth goes. We selected some of the most popular Girls Next Door over the 32 months of the contest's history (more than 140 GND's at this point) to model fashions from Jecca in Clayton and Jule Lingerie in Ladue. And, when it's all said and done, we have 11 GND's and one local lass who is a finalist for the upcoming season of America's Next Top Model. We'll show you the pics of the 12 models next week. But, if you're considering a Sunday Funday on August 23rd, I'd highly recommend the insideSTL.com Pool Party and Fashion Show at The Four Seasons. Outside of the lovely lasses partaking, I know that Cam Janssen and Erik Johnson of the Blues have already reserved cabanas for this fine little party.
-insideSTL.com would like to thank Jack Kelly for his outstanding work this Summer as an intern at the world headquarters. Jack is returning to Marquette to continue his studies. However, that leaves an opening for us, and we'd like to fill it. If you would like to intern at insideSTL.com and either work as an IT intern or a marketing/events planner intern, please email me at tmckernan@insidestl.com.
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