Tonight's insideSTL.com/The Ticket Guys' Happy Hour And Ticket Raffle At McGarvey's/Banana Joe's At 1911 Locust Street Downtown

It's simple: you get to drink whatever you'd like for $2 and eat whatever appetizer you'd like for half-price for four hours starting at 5 p.m. and going to 9 p.m. tonight at McGarvey's/Banana Joe's at 1911 Locust.

We'll have $2 "you call its" and 50% off appetizers tonight at the insideSTL.com/The Ticket Guys' Happy Hour...but that's not all we'll have.

Starting at 5:30...and every half hour all the way until 8:30...we'll be raffling off 40 tickets to events ranging from any Cardinal or Blues' game to box seats for the Cardinals-Cubs, Missouri-Illinois tickets, and on-the-glass seats (which include all food and drink) for the Blues' Opener.

Raffle tickets are just $5 for one, and you can get 5 tickets for $20.

Considering we're raffling off 40 tickets, your chances of winning are pretty damn good.

So, shoot on down to 1911 Locust Street to McGarvey's/Banana Joe's (right next to The Tin Can and across the street from F15teen), and we'll start the weekend off quite nicely with some delicious, inexpensive booze and food...and win tickets to some of the most prime sporting events in the St. Louis area for the price of a $5 raffle ticket.

The insideSTL.com Summerfest Next Saturday The 15th At Bar 101...With The Potential Addition of A Porn Star

I'm fired up by all the excitement over next Saturday's insideSTL.com Summerfest at Bar 101.

This has the makings of being the creepiest event of them all...which is saying something.

I guess when you combine Soulard, bikini contests, all-day drinking, beer pong, chicken wing-eating contests, watermelon-eating contests for the ladies, sand volleyball, and a bikini volleyball tournament, it's understandable why so many people are making plans to be at Bar 101 on Saturday August 15th.

And, most importantly, you can drink Schlafly beer all day long for a grand total of $20. Plus, if you buy the all-day pass, you get hot dogs for $1 and burgers for $2. It's the deal of the year when you consider all that's going on...and how inexpensive it is.

The festivities will go down like so:

12:00-The sand volleyball tournament begins. Beer pong and washers also start...and they'll run throughout the day.

3:00-We introduce our contestants for the $750 Bikini Contest...as a bit of a deep tease of what's to come at 5 p.m.

4:00-The gentleman partake in the Johnny's chicken wing-eating contest...judged by the famous Wendy of Johnny's. And, following the gentlemen, the ladies partake in the watermelon-eating contest...also judged by Wendy.

5:00-The bikini contest begins. Our celebrity judges will feature Cam Janssen and Ben Bishop of the Blues...and we're proud to say that there is a chance we're going to have adult film superstar Bree Olson on hand as one of our judges. She'll be dancing at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club in Washington Park, IL from the 13th through the 15th. The winner of the bikini contest will receive $750. Sources indicate we'll have lots of Girls Next Door and Johnny's waitresses participating.

6:30-The bikini volleyball game begins. I'm told by some of the great Americans who attend Bar 101 on Sundays for the games between ladies who work in special parts of our metropolitan area that start with the letter "S" that this is something you can't miss. I think this bikini volleyball game has the chance to surpass message board superstar itsvon's performance at the Third Anniversary Party last year when he dry fucked a camera tripod. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

The event is brought to you by our sponsors Schlafly, Red Bull, Johnny's, and The Tan Company.

The insideSTL.com Pool Party Saturday August 23rd At The Four Seasons

On the surface, The Four Seasons and insideSTL.com seem to be about as good of a match as Scott Rolen and Tony La Russa at a dinner party. But, we're flattered that we'll be hosting the very first insideSTL.com Pool Party Sunday August 23rd at The Four Seasons at Lumiere.

We look forward to having a lovely poolside cocktail party with all of the fine people who patronize this website and listen to The ITD Morning After.

And, we really are looking forward to putting on quite a fashion show that afternoon featuring some of our favorite---and my guess...your favorite---Girls Next Door in the 32 month history of the contest. We're selecting the top GND's from over 125 candidates to participate in this fashion show at The Four Seasons.

And we're happy to have News 4  This Morning anchor Virginia Kerr, my former cohort at KMOV, emceeing the festivities...because a) she's good looking and b) me emceeing a fashion show would be slightly perverted.

The insideSTL.com Pool Party At The Four Seasons August 23rd gets underway at 1 p.m. and goes until around 7 p.m. Make plans to hang out and booze...while creeping on some of the most beautiful women we've ever had on the site...or looking at fashion and stuff...or something.

The insideSTL.com Fourth Anniversary Party Thursday August 27th At The Pepper Lounge

On August 15th, this little moronic operation will celebrate its fourth birthday. I have no idea how. But, here we are.

So, as we've done each of the last three anniversary parties, we're going to combine our little moronic radio show with our little moronic website...and have a festival of bad radio and good looking girls.

We'll celebrate our Fourth Anniversary August 27th at The Pepper Lounge, and we welcome every single one of you to come and play in our reindeer games. I think we'll put on a show that will be worthy of making an appearance.

The festivities will get underway around 7:30, and we're going to broadcast The ITD Morning After live from The Pepper Lounge with a variety of Cardinal and Blues' players in attendance and appearing on the show.

We're also going to have the much-anticipated IQ Test between Producer Joe and Charlie Marlow...plus The Idiot's Roundtable featuring a segment moderated by Producer Joe as our producer debates topics with Timberfake, Rudy, Mike Lee, and Jackie.

We'll also have a number of our lovely Girls Next Door on hand for those of you who plan on trying to make a power move.

It'll be a celebration of the fact that this stupid business is still somehow in existence after four years...and we'll do that celebrating with some of the most moronic broadcasting we can come up with---live---for all of you to see...and then have it replayed the next morning as our show on The ITD Morning After.

So, there it is...a rundown of all we have coming up over the next 20 days. Lots of fun and games. Lots of beatiful girls. Lots of cheap booze. And, of course, brilliant broadcasting. Come play.

Log-in and post your comments, or you can email me at tmckernan@insidestl.com.