We're assuming that since NBC Football Night in America has a cast that would equal the legal roster of any NFL team, preparing pre-broadcast meals for the studio show could be a lot of work. Fortunately, the network has gone out on a limb and made its own job easier by publishing the Sunday Night Football Cookbook. Jerome Bettis couldn't be happier.

 

Completely authorized by NBC Sports, The Sunday Night Football Cookbook marries two great American institutions--food and football. With more than 150 delicious recipes from America's top chefs, NFL players and alumni, and NBC Sports' all-star on-air team, the book is an easy-to-use playbook for making the ultimate football meal.

Among the all-star chefs contributing recipes are Daniel Boulud, Jean-Robert de Cavel, Christopher Wilson, Susan Goss, and others. Also adding their favorite recipes are former NFL players--including Green Bay Packer Brett Favre, Pittsburgh Steeler Jerome Bettis, and Minnesota Viking Carl Eller--and stars from the NBC Sports team, including John Madden, Tiki Barber, and Bob Costas.

See, this is just like the late 80s WWF. By this time next year, there will be NBC Football Ice Cream Bars,  NBC Broadcast Buddies (the stuffed version of your favorite NBC football announcer) and Bob Costas will be wearing a graduation gown while reading week-to-week poetry off a clipboard. Not sure what we think of all that.

We are in favor, however, of Tiki Barber dying his hair blond and speaking with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot shall be named "Franky", and Tiki shall answer to the nickname "Bird-Man".

Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth
"The last time (Michelle Wie) won anything was probably a free game of miniature golf." - Bob Ryan

And even then she failed to turn in her ball and scorecard - the clown on the 18th just wouldn't give in.
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"It's not all about length." - Dan Hicks, NBC

Hicks' wife, Hannah Storm, has been saying this for years. (Boo-Yah).
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"Wake me up when September comes." - Bob Ryan, on preseason football

You might not be aware, but Bob Ryan is a huge fan of Green Day lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong.
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"Jon Miller and Joe Morgan with Peter Gammons. Peter is off this week and won't be with us." - Jon Miller

Also not with them was Joe Morgan - at least that's how it seems every Sunday night when that other voice attempts to provide insight.
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"The Phillies are going to have to try to outscore their opponents or they'll be in trouble." - Joe Morgan

Other teams aren't so unfortunate in that they can win by other means than outscoring. This is why the Phillies lost their 10,000th career game last summer.
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"You have to look for something hard." - Joe Morgan, on facing Brad Lidge

Safe to say if you don't find something hard, you're not getting anything.
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Peter King Just Can't Help Himself

Even when he put himself on Favre sanctions, it only takes two sentences for him to break into a story about his favorite topic:

In keeping with my one-day tradition of covering the other 2,500 players in the NFL aside from The One You're Hearing Too Much About, I bring some nuggets from the St. Louis Rams.Before I do, I have to share this release from ESPN that arrived via e-mail Monday morning:
"ESPN will present a SportsCenter special today at 12:30 p.m. ET featuring live coverage of Brett Favre's arrival at Green Bay Packers camp for a physical examination and a conditioning test all players must pass before they are placed on the 80-man active roster.''Shoot! I'm on the road. Did anyone TiVo that? I'm dying to see Brett Favre walk out of his car and walk into a building! You might think he's joking, but he really does want to see Favre walk from his car to a building.

Media Rant - Favre Coverage in Pictures

Rather than rant and rehash similar words that have appeared in this space since the inception of the column in 2005, we decided to provide specific context by displaying Web stories with a little other facts sprinkled in.

Since Favre announced his "itch" to return to the NFL,  75 stories and or features have aired on ESPN. 



On Sunday, the Breaking News division in Bristol was so excited over the Favre news, they failed to alert their fellow co-workers in the Sports/News-Headlines Division.



Because Favre wasn't in front of a camera on for the vast portion of Monday, the online sports outlets described the most talked about sports subject of the past three days as "under the radar". Chris Mortensen was said to be in "critical condition".



Never mind the fact he publicly announced his retirement in March and floated the idea that he might want to play again numeroust times ... Brett Favre's keeping a low profile. But fear not media friends, because Monday evening on SportsCenter, the words "Brett" and/or "Brett Favre" were uttered 25 times within the first package of the show. That doesn't include the prounouns "he" or "him" used as a reference to #4. We stopped keeping track of said terms when Michael Smith entered the screen after a few minutes to tell us how Favre's future in Green Bay looked.



And on Tuesday, one day after he flew under the radar, the mainstream media was hoping for a media circus. It was eerily similar to the Terrell Owens saga of 2006. Only this time, ESPN was making no bones about the fact that they wanted a circus centered around one ego-maniac.

St. Louis: Home of All-Star Puns 

If yesterday’s press conference told us anything, get ready for a pun-tastic 2009 MLB All-Star Game, America.

The simple fact that there is a press conference to announce the logo of the All Star Game is a bit self-involved, but if nothing else, it lets the baseball world hear local authorities spout off clichés and puns at a Carpenter-esque pace.   In this case it was the venerable figureheads of host city, St. Louis who broke out their very best snappy lines when the lights were brightest.

Cheap baseball-related pun?  Let’s give the mayor of St. Louis, Francis Slay, a crack at that one..

"Major League Baseball hit a home run in selecting St. Louis to host next summer's All-Star Game. This is an opportunity for St. Louis to showcase what we have. I'm here to guarantee you that this will be the best All-Star Game you've ever seen."

Standard issue “Show Me State” joke?  Enter County Executive Charlie Dooley

"They call Missouri the Show Me State and St. Louis the Gateway to the West. In 2009, we will become the Watch Me State. We're going to make this something you'll remember the rest of your lives."

If you manage to wade past the layers of cheese, the message is clear – the 2009 All Star Game is going to be a life altering experience.

Even though it’s happening in St. Louis.

Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line

The trading deadline is always a prime opportunity for snappiness to make its way to the forefront.  The Patriarch of the Snappy Line, Bob Carpenter, watches with glee as columnists and TV hosts go out of their way to describe the big names changing teams over the course of one hectic day.  Say for example a first ballot Hall of Famer like Ken Griffey Jr. gets shipped from Cincinnati to Chicago.  Surely, someone can snap that up...

"A Junior achievement award for Ken Williams and company." – Mike Downey, Chicago Tribune

Nothing special, but Bobber is just glad to see someone give this the snappy treatment that it deserves.  A tepid thumbs up but no wink and gun.