Steve Braband is not a SportsCenter anchor.  He doesn't recite poetry jams, doesn't have a sweaty combover and doesn't wear hideous looking ties (that we know of, anyway).  Even so, he's become unbearably annoying.  You may not know the name, but if you watched the Yankees/Red Sox on Sunday Night Baseball, you know his face.  

Braband has been "hosting" ESPN's commercials pimping the soon-to-debut live weekday morning SportsCenter episodes.  To really cram into viewers' heads what "live television" is all about, Steve is starring in roughly 25 live commercials every day.  He also has a hand-written sign that serves as a secondary reminder that yes, on August 11th, SportsCenter in the morning will be live every hour as opposed to reruns of Neil Everett yelling.  

Having sat through Sunday night's barrage of promos, we've become annoyed to the point that the next time we turn on ESPN and see him, we'll probably throw rocks at his head through the TV screen.  It takes a lot of repetition to get us to this point, and there's really only one other person who constantly reappears on Sunday Night telecasts to drive us crazy.

Ironically, he's also the star of a commercial.

You thought we were talking about Joe Morgan, didn't you.  No, he doesn't star in any commercials (rumor has it he doesn't watch enough television to know about any commercials).  If he did though, he'd probably be annoying.  

Not as annoying as that Finally Fast idiot, though.   

Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth

"General manager Ted Thompson and coach Mike McCarthy barely mentioned the "BF" word in their address to stockholders on Thursday."- Reid Cherner, USA Today

You know things are bad when the mainstream media won't even say the name Brett F***e.  You know Favre's contemplating a comeback, right?
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"The conservative offensive style that was the signature of the first two Scott Linehan years has been replaced by a bold and beautiful up-tempo Greatest Show on Turf revival."- Bryan Burwell, STL Post-Dispatch

When you consider last year's documentation of Greatest Show comments from the media, you realize that Burwell is off the mark. This year would mark the revival of the Greatest Show on Turf Revival.

*Report: FoxSports offers Chris Rose and intern to Sports Illustrated for Dr. Z.*

"So Al Saunders, who like Martz comes off the flamboyant Air Coryell coaching tree, was hired as offensive coordinator to reinstall the Greatest Show, help reignite the energy in the Edward Jones Dome and make the Rams a dazzling offensive threat again."- Burwell

Again, you might think Burwell is off the mark, but we obtained a copy of Saunders' resume and it had only one line "Worked with the dude indirectly responsible for the Greatest Show on Turf". Pretty easy hiring decision if you're the Rams front office.
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"If that were [done in a playful way], I think it'd be a lot of fun, but it depends on how playful it is."- Tim McCarver, on the prospect of Red Sox fans wearing Madonna masks during A-Rod at bats

McCarver further elaborated that use of clown shoes and suspenders while listening to the Captain Kangaroo theme song in your head would reach appropriate levels of playfullness.
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"The Internet age has brought an increased demand for news and information in practically every area of life. And nowhere have avenues opened up for an explosion of blogs quite like sports." - John Coon, Salt Lake Desert News

Nowhere, except politics, news, and entertainment. In other words, pretty much everywhere.
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*Sources: ESPN in market for lefthanded anchor with frosted tips*

“He was sidelined from baseball by injuries and scandals, but Josh Hamilton battled back to become baseball’s R&B leader and homerun derby hero”– TLC Voiceover in ad for TV show, “Real Estate Pros”

You knew about how many RBI he has this year, but it took TLC break the news to fans that Josh Hamilton is also one of the foremost R&B performers in the entire league. Dude's voice is like silk.
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"And Boston would have to become extraordinarily desperate to start thinking the decidedly un-clutch Adam Dunn could replace (Manny) Ramirez."– Jon Heyman, SI.com

Most people tend to consider a traditional "clutch" situation as 2 outs with runners in scoring position. In those situations, super clutch Manny is hitting .261/.414/.435 (Avg/OBP/SLG) with one homerun in 46 at bats. Meanwhile Dunn is hitting .242/.457/.818 with 6 homeruns in 33 at bats in the same situation. The un-clutch one basically hits one bomb every five at bats in the most clutch of scenarios. Quality analysis as always from Jon Heyman.

*Rumor mill: FSN negotiating with Chris Rose on long term contract*
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The Media Circus invades the Olympics via Yahoo! Sports

No, Joe Mustache isn't vying for the gold in the javelin competition, and no, the JSF crew hasn't been summoned to sift through smog to cover obscure athletic events, but it's the next best thing.  Our own Patrick Imig is one of five writers contributing to Yahoo! Sports' Fourth Place Medal blog.

After honing his skills and practicing the art of media coverage on these here pages, Imig will maintain the general role of media coverage.  It means lots of big words from Bob Costas are sure to be documented, and ample reference to Tom Hammond's makeup will be featured.  The blog runs through the end of the Olympics on August 29th. 

*Update: FSN yet to offer Chris Rose extension* 

So head on over to Fourth Place Medal on Yahoo! Sports and revel in Olympics absurdity.  Tell 'em Joe Mustache sent you.

Media Rant - the Mark Teixeira trade coverage

Never is the baseball media more prominent than around the end of July.  It's trade deadline time, and baseball reporters all over the land are climbing over one another to scoop the next big blockbuster deal.

Luckily, baseball fans have a site like MLBTradeRumors.com run by Tim Dierkes to act as a de facto RSS feed allowing us to sift through all the latest speculation, scoops and wild ass rumors that happen to float across the desks of baseball writers and talking heads like Fox's Ken Rosenthal, ESPN's Buster Olney and Jayson Stark, SI.com's Jon Heyman and scores of their peers.

In the era of hyper-media, it's equal parts amusing and dizzying to follow along the roller coaster that is a big name like Mark Teixeira being traded.

Since Monday afternoon, the Teixeira story alone has commanded significant space on MLB Trade Rumors.  Here is a running log of the competing rumor mongers as the deal unfolded.

*Source: Chris Rose heading to ESPN/ABC to host NBA studio show*

Monday, July 28
-Buster Olney says the D-Backs refuse to give up Conor Jackson, Rosenthal thinks it will be the D-Backs or the Angels scoring Teixeira, while ESPN's Keith Law confirms that at least four teams are interested in a deal.
5:08pm - Yahoo's Steve Henson says the deal with the D-Backs is "pretty far along"
6:38pm- ESPN's Jayson Stark claims the Red Sox and Rays are in the mix and that the Angels have taken Casey Kotchman "off the board"
10:32pm- Rosenthal says the D-Backs are close but will trade Chad Tracy instead of Conor Jackson if they do the deal but they won't try to resign Teixeira after the season.
11:06pm - Baseball Prospectus' Will Carroll adds the Orioles and Dodgers to the list of suitors.
11:06pm- Buster Olney claims the D-Backs are close to a deal
11:29pm - MLB.com writer Mark Bowman's source claims the Yankees and Angels are now more likely to get him than the D-Backs
11:42pm- Jack Magruder of the East Valley Tribune says the D-Backs are not going to acquire Teixeira or Manny Ramirez for that matter.

*Insider: "Stu Scott would welcome Chris Rose with open arms"*

Tuesday, July 29
12:10am- Jon Heyman checks in bright and early on Tuesday morning and says the Braves are focused in on the D-Backs and that a person within the Angels organization sees a deal between the Braves and Angels as "unlikely"
12:33pm - Rosenthal chimes in that the Angels are pushing to include Will Ohman or Mike Gonzalez in the deal
1:01pm - Stark tosses the Dodgers and Yankees back into the mix
1:52pm- Peter Gammons reports that Red Sox are in on Rangers catcher Taylor Teagarden.  It has nothing to do with the Mark Teixeira trade, but we just found it amusing that with all the activity around baseball, ESPN's Peter Gammons is working the huge Teagarden-to-Boston deal.
2:33pm- The always reliable NY Post reports that its a battle between the D-Backs and Red Sox, but the Sox are only interested if they can dump Manny Ramirez
3:46pm- Heyman's sources from the Angels see a deal including Casey Kotchman as "remote"
4:50pm- Jayson Stark breaks the news - Mark Teixeira has been sent from the Braves to the Angels for Casey Kotchman and a minor league pitcher.

In the span of one day, the Angels, D-Backs, Rays, Red Sox, Yankees, Orioles and Dodgers were all seen as potential landing spots for Mark Teixeira; Conor Jackson, Manny Ramirez and Chad Tracy were offered up as potential trade bait and the guy who assured us that Casey Kotchman was off the table on Monday, broke the story that Casey Kotchman was the main piece in the deal on Tuesday.

Not sure about you, but we're still chomping at the bit to see if Taylor Teagarden ends up in a Red Sox uniform.

Dave Campbell clears waivers, signs with Associated Press



*CBS Sports in running for Chris Rose and Dave Campbell*

Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line

Upon finding out one half of the Media Circus qualifiedfor the Fourth Place Medal blog, Bobby sent out a congratulatory email to the JSF crew and sent his well wishes.  He did state, however, his lone stipulation: that the influence of the Carpenter-esque snappy line show through some of the groundbreaking content. 

The Bobber didn't have to wait long, as slow Internet in Beijing caused problems for media members, thus giving birth to a new wave of technologically advanced snappiness that was featured prominently in Fourth Place Medal's first week of existence.

Safe to say cyber thumbs up count just as much as the real thing.

The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Pat Imig.  They swear this stuff is real.  Email them at info@joesportsfan.com

*Report: FSN content with current roster*