There's just nothing quite as uncomfortable as having a metaphorical monkey on your back. Those little primates just grab hold and hang on for dear life.

Look at the Cubs. They've had this whole "inability to win a World Series" monkey latched onto to them for a century. Even worse, they had to watch as their South Side neighbors, the White Sox shook theirs a few years back.

Here is St. Louis, we aren't immune to the occasional monkey hopping onto one of our teams or players' lumbar region. Even coaches and owners can get into the mix sometimes. Today we rank the most notable monkeys clinging to the backs of our local sports figures.

5.) Chris Duncan
Monkey on his back - Nepotism
When he was first called for his initial lengthy stint in the Majors in 2006, Duncan was able to squash any speculation that his spot on the roster was strictly the result of being Dave Duncan's son. It wasn't as if you could put it past the Cardinals, as this was the same management who gave 74 at bats to Cody McKay in 2004.

Duncan hit 22 homeruns in just 280 at bats in '06 and followed it up with 16 more in the first half of '07. Then the wheels came off. Sidelined with a sports hernia for part of the second half, he has hit 5 homeruns in 257 at bats since August 1 of last year. His batting line is a putrid .210/.313/.304 during that time.

With ample opportunities on the big league club being provided despite lack of production, the "n" word started creeping into the conversation. Could the reason he is still seeing playing time possibly be...nepotism. It didn't help when his dad threw a fit at the media for what he viewed as unfair criticism of his boy. Understandable when coming from the fatherly side of Dave Duncan, sort of ridiculous when coming from Cardinals coach side of Dave Duncan.

With Pujols out, Chris Duncan had ample opportunity to heat up, but didn’t. Unless he does so in the very near future, that monkey named nepotism is going to be clamping down on his throat a little harder every day.

4.) Scott Linehan
Monkey on his back - losses
The most common monkey of them all is currently hitching a ride around town on Scott Linehan's back. It's the old "win or you're going to be fired" monkey.

2007 was a complete disaster at Rams Park, one that we have little desire to rehash here. A large number of fans felt Linehan was lucky to have been brought back for 2008 considering how bad things got.

He's gotten his stay of execution for the time being, but the "win or else..." species of sports monkey is a ruthless beast. Tote it around at your own risk.

3.) Bill DeWitt
Monkey on his back - Ballpark Village
If you look at the big picture, Cardinals owner Bill DeWitt should probably be lauded as a savior in St. Louis. He was the leader of the ownership group that took over the Cardinals at arguably their worst point and turned them back into a fixture in the postseason. A World Series championship, two NLCS titles and seven postseason appearances in twelve years is pretty impressive.

But sports fans are notoriously impatient and lately public opinion has swayed towards the negative concerning Mr. DeWitt. The critical piece of evidence for those making a case against DeWitt is the giant, water-filled hole that sits next to the current version of Busch Stadium. Lake DeWitt was to be the home of Ballpark Village - a mythical place where people and business flocked, winged fairies passed out lollipops to the kids and amber rivers of Budweiser flowed throughout. It was to be paradise.

With delays on top of delays fueling public frustration, Bill DeWitt's legacy at this point is directly tied to what happens with that piece of property. Make it a jewel of downtown and he'll be remembered fondly, half-ass it and he'll be remembered as cheaping out whenever his own money was involved, don't do it at all and he'll be remembered an evil corporate mercenary who drank Miller and wanted to melt down the Arch and sell the steel.

Your call, Bill.

2.) St. Louis CVC
Monkey on its back - Edward Jones Dome
When the lease with the Los Angeles Rams was finalized for what was then the TWA Dome, it contained a clause outlining that the Dome had to be in the top 25% of NFL stadiums otherwise the team could opt out in 2015.

Not sure if you've been to the Dome lately, but it's barely in the top 25% of the stadiums in the NFC West much less than entire NFL. It's pretty much a lifeless dump. It doesn't help that stadiums are popping up all over the country that are flirting with a $1 billion price tag.

To renovate the Dome in hopes of meeting the requirement might cost as much as a new stadium, so the CVC is ultimately left with a billion dollar problem. Will the city allow them to invest that kind of money on a new arena, just twenty years after the current one opened? Is there any way to find some middle ground with the franchise? Will the city of St. Louis lose yet another professional football team?

Lets just say it's going to take some serious coin to remove this monkey.

1.) St. Louis Blues
Monkey on their back - Stanley Cup
The ongoing problem for the St. Louis Blues is pretty simple. It's been hanging around for over thirty years and doesn't look like its going anywhere in the near future. They can't win a Stanley Cup.

Since the franchise was started in 1967, the team has been to the playoffs 34 times. They have been eliminated short of a title 34 times. They went to the Finals in each of their first three years in existence and haven't been back since. Needless to say, its been an uphill climb for the franchise.

It isn't a monkey on the Blues back, it's more like a lowland gorilla