Ah if only we could have had a seat at the Garden on Tuesday night.  With the Celtics dropping a bomb on the Lakers in Game 6 and virtually sealing up the title by the third quarter, there was ample time for fans to lube up for a celebration that would last all night. 

That many drunken Massholes in one place would be have been a fan hunters dream. 

But alas, we're stuck here in the Midwest watching on television and glancing at the still photos of the celebration.  But who says just because we aren't there, we can't tell you what's going through the heads of the fans who did happen to witness it in person?  Just so happens, as we demonstrated with the soccer picture a few weeks back, we're a whiz and reading the storylines from afar...



Storyline #1 - At first he thought he might just be imagining it, but this photographer is pretty certain that Kevin Garnett's enormous dong just peeked out of his shorts and winked at him. 

Storyline #2 -  He can't write for shit and he conducts terrible interviews...but Santa Claus is given a press pass whenever he asks.

Storyline #3 - Like any superfan, this guy could think of no better way to demonstrate his passion for the Celtics than to break out into a spontaneous version of "A Moment Like This" by Kelly Clarkson.

Storyline #4 - Bill Simmons probably went a bit overboard with the disguise this time, but what do you want him to do? He can't have every Boston sports fan in the building coming over and wanting to shake his hand. 

Storyline #5 - You probably didn't realize that the guy who played Niles in Frasier was such a huge basketball fan.  Guy freaking loves his Celts, man. 

Storyline #6 - Needless to say, by the fourth quarter, the surrounding fans were a bit annoyed by the bald dude's pledge to mimic every one of Keving Garnett's moves from the tipoff. 

Storyline #7 - This guy can confirm it, Garnett's dong did peek out.  It was this big.  Stunning. 

Storyline #8 -   Bill Plaschke just tunes the noise out and keeps plugging away on his Microsoft Word document entitled "Killer Around the Horn Jokes.doc"