Monday Morning Pop Quiz
As part of my efforts to wake ye from your slumber, hangover and all around grogginess, we have a little brain exercise. The following photo is from the Tampa Rays‚ Web site as part of their draft coverage.
No cheating please
Q) Based on the photo, we can surmise that Don Zimmer:
a) just crapped his pants
b) popped one for the first time since viewing Ann Margaret‚s biography on A&E in October of '97
c) lost total control of his bladder
d) is thoroughly aroused by woman-on-laptop contact
e) really covets the Reuben sandwich on the A's draft-desk across the way
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Ovechkin T-Shirts Rivaling Patriots' Undefeated T's in Sales
Though the story and link has since been pulled down on NHL.com, the league was proud to unveil and sell the official shirt of the '07-'08 Hart Winner (otherwise known as NHL MVP), a celebration of the young phenom Alexander Ovechkin.
One small problem: the formal announcement (supposed to be kept secret) won't be made until Thursday in Toronto at the NHL Awards Ceremony. While the NHL Shop is employing the don‚t ask, don‚t tell policy other than to say we didn't reveal the winner, TSN in Canada is all over the shenanigans. Evgeni Malkin and Jarome Iginla round out the three players vying for the award.
Michael Strahan has yet to comment on the premature business venture.
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Pastor Recites Passage From Book of Nature Boy
An employee at a Mazda dealership in Tennessee who doubles as a pastor at True Vine International Ministries in Tallahassee stopped a Wal Mart shoplifter by going Ric Flair on the poor bastard (story link)
(beginnign of text lifted from article)
"Will Hudson was emulating a move he saw professional wrestler "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair use on TV when he grabbed onto a suspected shoplifter fleeing arrest Wednesday."
"He was getting ready to go outside, and that's when I grabbed him and held him so that he wouldn't escape through the door," said Hudson, an employee at Gem Mazda car dealership, 1465 Capital Circle N.W. "I really can't believe I got involved myself. It just seemed like the thing to do." (ending of text from article)
The shoplifter, Kelvin Bispham, stole DVDs from the store and nearly got away the first time before store employees intervened (and as you can tell by the photo, Bispham looks to be a real winner). Bispham then pulled out a knife and threatened the folks who dared recover the DVDs - believed to be a copy of WrestleMania V and a Christian Rock greatest hits compilation, both favorites of the pastor*. Realizing he was a wanted man, Bispham sprinted from the Wal Mart over to the nearby Mazda dealership where he screamed "they're trying to kill me", but pastor Will Hudson happened to be working and smelled a rat. It was then that he went Ric Flair on him until police arrived on the scene.
And they say professional wrestling is fake.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Made it up - but remain pretty sure they are favorites of the pastor.
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I Work For Upper Deck, And I Number Baseball Cards
On the list of "odd sports-related jobs", numbering baseball cards falls somewhere between "putting the autographed ball in the plastic case" and "co-hosting ESPN Hollywood". But apparently, these people do exist and do earn a living from such a thing.
A fellow by the name of Tom Geideman worked at Upper Deck was in charge of assigning numbers to baseball cards. After much mulling, he made the executive decision to mark Ken Griffey Jr's rookie card as #1 in the inaugural set. A wise decision, I say (story link)
(Lifted from text) "Using an issue of Baseball America as his guide, Geideman knew that card No. 1 would belong to Gregg Jefferies, Sandy Alomar Jr., Gary Sheffield, or a long-shot candidate, the phenom they called "The Kid."
"Despite the fact that Griffey had yet to crack the majors, Geideman had the confidence that the top pick in the 1987 draft would live up to his pedigree. It goes without saying that this was a genius selection. You could imagine how the people at Topps felt when Junior became an instant superstar˜and they hadn't even included him in their 792-card set." (end lifted from Text)
Looking back, it's pretty crazy to think that Gregg Jefferies was so highly touted as to earn consideration for a number one label. Jefferies' '89 Donruss Rated Rookie was once the most prized card in the set and had the "up arrow" next to "$5" from the getgo. It's also crazy to ponder Gary Sheffield as the Upper Deck #1 because he was still a shortstop, and hadn't yet littered baseball society with a litany of stupid, racially motivated quotes.
As for Geideman, it turns out he did have time for shenanigans to break up the monotony of numbering 700+ cards. He was a porn fan before the Internet, per the process he used to number various cards in the 1992 Upper Deck set. He assigned numbers that ended in 69 to players with porn-star-sounding names. (Dick Schofield at No. 269, Heathcliff Slocumb at No. 569, and Dickie Thon at No. 769.)
It's clear Mr. Geideman never worked for Topps in the late 70s and early 80s, otherwise Dick Pole's cards would have followed a similar pattern.