The role of a sideline reporter at a football game is still in the process of being defined. Originally it was thought to only be useful for the mindless interviews with the coaches on the way to and from the locker room.
Then Suzy Kolber showed us that the they could also be useful as a straight man in Joe Namath’s drunken comedy show.
And now Tony Siragusa is redefining the role even further. Rather than simply conduct interviews or let Hall of Famers hit on him, Siragusa actually serves as a third analyst with the team of Kenny Albert and Daryl Johnston on Fox, using his spot behind the end zone to offer a unique perspective of the game at hand.
And just in case he decides to add rapping to his repertoire, he’s dressed and ready for that too…
At first we thought he was dressed up as a fat character from The Matrix on the sidelines, but then we realized he was just doing his best Kool Moe Dee impression.
How you like Goose, now?
Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth
"(Brett Favre's) the same in some ways as he was when he came in and I say that with a smile because you know, I kind of felt I was there in those days, a little bit. He's the little girl with the curl. He continues to be!" - Chris Berman
The girl with the curl. Seriously, is there any doubt that Chris Berman would have sex with Brett Favre if given the opportunity.
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"You think of the term box and we put (the Titans) in a very small box." - Tom Jackson
Small maybe, but that box has to be real wide for all the Titans to fit inside.
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"I don't know that I've ever seen two more dynamic, dominating football players at wide receiver on the same team. You can say 'Michael Irvin and uh, other, Jerry Rice and John Taylor." - Steve Young
When we listen to Steve Young, it's like a public service announcement about the severity of concussions.
Media Rant - Pop Quiz Edition
1. The following quotes appeared in a television advertisement with one of those really big-voiced voices...
"He's got a gift."
"He's got powers."
"But every hero has rivals who seek to stop him. Hero."
These quotes were describing:
a) Frodo Baggins, Lord of the Rings
b) Harry Potter, Harry Potter
c) Brett Favre, New York Jets
d) Magnum P.I., Magnum P.I.
The correct answer is C. The full promo reads as follows...
"On the next episode of NFL Network's live NFL games ... HE'S GOT A GIFT. HE'S GOT POWERS. BUT EVERY HERO HAS RIVALS WHO SEEK TO STOP HIM. HERO. BRETT FAVRE STARS IN THE 267TH STRAIGHT EPISODE. WHEN ALL YOU WANT IS FOOTBALL, THERE'S A PLACE THAT HAS IT ALL. NFL NETWORK PRESENTS. JETS. PATRIOTS."
2. "I don't want to be overly dramatic, but sometimes that's my job."
Who said it?
a) Tony Kornheiser
b) Mike Greenburg
c) Terry Bradshaw
d) Oprah Winfrey
The correct answer is A. And with that, we say to you Tony, your job isn't to be "overly dramatic", your job is to offer up insightful and or entertaining analysis. The forced act is old and tired. It may have been the norm when you started, but sports fans nowadays can educate themselves and recognize forced stupidity when they see it. Basically, we're saying we want you to stop.
3. "This game had so much more than we could show you right there, so why don't we detail it?"
Who said it?
a) Chris Berman
b) Curt Menefee
c) Alex Trebek
d) James Brown
The correct answer is A. And with that, we have the ESPN philosophy summed up in 19 convenient words. Instead of allowing actual, chronologically progressing highlights tell the story of a football game, viewers get two highlights and three to four minutes of Trent Dilfer, John Saunders, Tom Jackson and Boomer talking about what the game "means" for both teams involved, and where each team goes from here.
At some point, the powers that be decided that sports fans would rather have talk than highlights. We refer to that point as "jumping the shark", though we have no idea why that phrase became popular.
Media Overreaction: Case Study #4328
Subject: Jim Haslett
Offender: Bryan Burwell, St. Louis Post-Dispatch columnist
Here at JSF, we get a kick out of observing the lightning quick overreactions that plague so many in the sports media these days. Sure we’ve written a few bits that we wish we could take back just like the next guy, but when it comes to high profile subjects such as the NFL, the overwhelming desire to stand out with a strong opinion often comes back to haunt the writers/talking heads.
Sometimes it takes years. Sometimes, as is the case with St. Louis Post-Dispatch columnist Bryan Burwell, it takes about three weeks.
The once-woeful Rams are infinitely better today than 24 days ago, and that's not going to change in another game or 10 more weeks. That's why after two years of bashing this organization for its spectacular incompetence, it's time to praise them for pulling off a stunning personnel move… So tear up that clause that promises him the job if he wins six or more games. Put it in writing right now that this is (Jim) Haslett's job, period. – Bryan Burwell, 10/21
We celebrate it each year after Week 1 of the NFL, writers and TV analysts drawing definitive conclusions based on a minute sample size. In this case, Burwell viewed the Rams two wins after Haslett took over for Scott Linehan as ample evidence of a complete 180. A week later, he remained firm in his convictions.
It has taken less than a month for Jim Haslett to undo the mess that the St. Louis Rams had become. – Bryan Burwell, 10/27
Two Sundays later, the Rams and their savior lost to the Jets 47-3. Burwell’s tune had changed…
So if you're looking for some quickie fix for whatever ails the Rams in the aftermath of Sunday's 47-3 brutal embarrassment at the hands of the New York Jets — the worst loss in 21 years — stop wasting your time. – Bryan Burwell 11/10
Yes, heaven forbid anyone suggest that Haslett’s signing was a quickie fix. Or perhaps that they were “infinitely better today than 24 days ago”. That would be a gross overreaction.
Coming up on the next edition of Media Overreactions:
Jim Haslett's bid to hang onto the Rams fulltime head coaching job is all but over. – Don Banks, SI.com, 11/11
Prepare Yourselves For the Second Coming
You know the scene in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, where ole’ Mike touches his cute little niece and turns her into a miniature version of him?
Well, we just found our own sports media version of that moment…
If you believe or hope that when Brett Favre finally retires for good that we won’t be hearing his name again for a while, you will be sorely disappointed. Even if Brett becomes a recluse in his Mississippi home after his days on the field are over, the media has already found their heir apparent.
Witness the Yahoo! Sports/Rivals story seen on Tuesday…
St. Stanislaus quarterback Dylan Favre, as he usually does on game day, received a text message from his famous uncle - superstar NFL signal-caller Brett Favre - the afternoon of his team's Oct. 31 regular-season finale.
"Good luck and do what you do," it read.
A few hours later, Dylan Favre etched his name into the record books by completing 23 of 35 passes for 358 yards and five touchdowns in a 42-27 Rock-A-Chaws win over Poplarville.
We certainly aren’t cynical enough to start piling on a seemingly talented high school kid just because of who he is related to, but we do feel that it’s necessary to forewarn the sports watching public that the media will do whatever they have to do to fill the Favre withdrawal after he is gone. If that means targeting his nephew as a potential deity once the Great One is retired then so be it.
If only Donald Pleasence was here to tell us what to do.
Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line
Rich Eisen knows he doesn't get many chances to impress a national viewing audience. Sure, millions of Americans get NFL Network, but a bigger, more casual audience tunes in when the station broadcasts a special weeknight game.
Such was the case last Thursday when the Browns hosted the Broncos. Eisen put things in proper perspective for the Cleveland team.
"It's an SOS situation -- save our season."
And surely there was a snappy Brady Quinn reference to be had.
"The Browns turn to Dr. Quinn, Medicine Man."
Good stuff, Rich. The Bobber approves. But he's not ready to hand over the memorial trophy. Not when Jim Nantz proves the old dog still has some tricks in him.
"Reggie Wayne, who had a pet snake his four years at Miami named Law, slithers his way here across and away from Clark ... takes it in for the touchdown."
Only a veteran of Nantz's caliber could seamlessly bring up a factoid completely irrelevant and devoid of football info and make it work. Two thumbs up from the Carpster. Job well done to Rich Eisen, but the old dog still runs the yard.
The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig. They heard Jim Nantz celebrated the honor with a snappy-sized bowl of Cream of Wheat. Email them at info@joesportsfan.com.