"IMIG FOR THE EXCLAMATION POINT ... GOOD!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!? THE MONDAY FOOTBALL COLUMN IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!! - Gus Johnson
Favre Zealots hate to say "I told you so"
When the Packers said no to Brett Favre and yes to not him, they left themselves open to one heck of a second-guess argument. Ten weeks in, the Favre-led Jets are 6-3 while the Favre-less Packers are 4-5. From a mere numbers perspective, Favre has 16 TD, 12 picks (Vintage!) and a rating of 89.8 while Aaron Rodgers has 13 TD, 5 INT and a 93.3 rating. Numbers be damned, would the Packers be better off with Favre as their starting quarterback? That's a resounding no for 3 reasons:
Favre's TD total is misleading because six of his touchdowns came in one game and one other was a 4th down prayer in Week 1. Plus, he should have two more interceptions, but the Rams defensive backs were awestruck by his holy radiance and dropped them Sunday.
- Without Favre, the existence of the other Green Bay players is taken into consideration in times of celebration, which can only help in their marketability, which in turn, helps their bottom line income. Family comes first, and Favre is not good for the young families in the Packers organization. For the second year in a row, the Packers are the youngest team in football.
- While Favre threw the Packers out of the postseason last year, Rodgers has zero career in interceptions in postseason play.
(And Green Bay is giving up 155 yards rushing per game compared to last year's 103. The offense is averaging the same amount of touchdowns per game and scoring a mere 0.8 points less per game overall. That's actually bullet number three.)
Mike McCarthy employs TECMO BOWL playbook on final drive
Following a 31 yard kick return to their own 41 yard-line and a 19 yard completion to Donald Driver, the Packers hit the 2 minute warning on the Minnesota 40 down by one. They came out of the timeout with a run for -1 yard (Run 1), a run for four yards (Run 2), and a 3 yard completion (Pass 2) to set up an unsuccessful Mason Crosby field goal attempt for 52 yards.
The loss was the Packers' third straight by a field goal or less. Last year, Green Bay was 5-1 in games decided by 7 points or less, including three 3-point victories. This season, they're 1-3 in games decided by 7 or less, which includes two 3-point losses (Atlanta, Tennessee) and yesterday's one-pointer to the Vikings.
Lucky Vikings luck way to 5th win of the season
The win by default for Minnesota follows their '08 theme of lucky. Even though they gave up their 6th special teams touchdown, the Vikings lucked out a victory thanks in part to McCarthy's horrible 2 minute offense. This follows the same lucky path as the Vikings' 3 point win over the Saints in which the officials awarded the Vikings a Reggie Bush fumble and saved one for Adrian Peterson. Ditto for the lucky pass interference call on the Lions that put Ryan Longwell in position for a game winning field goal in a 12-10 win over the Lions -- the same game Dan Orlovsky gave away two points by running towards the locker room with the ball in his hands.
- 3 Point Win - Officials give Minnesota 6 points based on one bad call and one non-call.
- 2 Point Win - Officials give Minnesota winning field goal and opposing quarterback donates two points as part of blockbuster frugal five point gift-basket.
- 1 Point Win - Mike McCarthy plays TECMO BOWL (vintage!) with his players which leads to the proverbial Lawrence Taylor blocking the field goal try.
Based on Minnesota's remaining schedule, they'll be lucky to win 9 games. They finish 8-8 (wait, that means they'll probably finish with 9 wins).
Rams looking to fire Jim Haslett in exchange for two more wins
As much as Rams fans credited Jim Haslett after winning two games against Washington and Dallas, they should be blaming him for the last three losses. At the seven minute mark of the 4th quarter in Week 7, St. Louis was up 31-7 on the Cowboys. For some reason, Steven Jackson was still in the game and sure enough, Jackson got hurt and has rushed all of seven plays since then. Sunday, the Rams pulled a vintage performance with a 44 point defeat.
On the bright side, Haslett has utilized the Rams young receivers and given them ample playing time to shine or suck. One such player is Derek Stanley, whose first career reception was an 80 yard touchdown in Week 9. His second career reception came in Week 10 and went for 12 yards, but it resulted in a lost fumble. Based on projections, his third reception should occur next week. It'll go for 35 yards, but Derek will be flagged for a personal foul after the play when the referee sees Stanley remove a Sharpie from his sock and stab Nate Clements repeatedly until drawing blood.
Saints finally see Jeremy Shockey in vintage form
Since returning from sports hernia surgery and ripping his team health officials, Jeremy Shockey has caught eight passes for 72 yards in three games. He sat on the bench all of the 4th quarter yesterday, a span of 15 minutes in which Drew Brees racked up 294 passing yards and two scores. On the final play of the 3rd, Shockey missed a blocking assignment and made a lazy attempt at catching Brees' rushed throw, which resulted in a verbal confrontation between the two. It went something like this:
"You were supposed to pick that up!"
"Yea? Well I can't 'pick that up' when you don't throw it where I can catch it!"
"I'm talking about the defender. I can't throw the ball accurately when my stupid tight end fails to block the on-coming blitzer! It's GOT to be picked up!"
"Oh. I gotcha, I gotcha. Freaking Billy Miller missed a blocked again."
"What? Oh Jesus, never mind."
"There you go having another conversation with that imaginary friend of yours."
"You smell like a strip club, you god damn hoosier!"
[walks away...] "He's always yelling at that poor imaginary guy."
Bears dejected after Rex Grossman nears 100% Level
Rex Grossman said he was only at "70%" last week, because he was the backup at the start of the game. To illustrate this phenomenon, he cited that the backup QB receives the gameplan via email before each game, so he wasn't fully in tune with everything.
That was actually a good thing because the Bears survived the Lions 27-23; but with Grossman at a higher percentage Sunday, the Bears lost 21-14 to the Titans. Thankfully for Bears fans, Grossman has yet to reach the vintage Grossman level where he turns the ball over via fumbling, interceptions and tops off a loss with a stupid comment in the postgame presser.
Recap of Daunte Culpepper's historic inaugural Lions drive
Come on, you know where this one's going, people. VINTAGE CULPEPPER!
Vintage players avenge their former teams
Once a special teams player for the Chicago Bears, Jeff Fisher and the Titans stayed perfect even though the rushing attack mustered 21 yards on 28 carries. Later in the day, former Steelers defensive back Tony Dungy and the Colts improved to 5-4 with a hard fought win over the Steelers. The Colts intercepted Ben Roethlisberger three times, including late in the 2nd quarter with the Steelers up 10. Poor coaching ruled the moment, as the Steelers decided to pass from their own five yard line with less than two minutes in the half rather than attempting to run out the clock.
The poor coaching seemingly transcended into poor mic skills, as Mike Tomlin explained to the world why Ben Roethlisberger is the team's starting quarterback and doesn't have confidence issues.
"He's our quarterback because he is."
Perfect.
Vice Senator Elect President Joe Biden disgusted by Tom Reid's playcalling
The Eagles can chalk up their loss to the Giants as follows: "We were thoroughly outcoached." Andy Reid and the Eagles went 0-for-2 on challenges while the Giants went 1-for-1. The lone Giants challenge led to seven points instead of three and New York also avoided horrible playcalling.
On 3rd and 3 with the Eagles driving at the 2 minute warning, Philly ran the ball two straight times and were denied a first down. Of course, had the Eagles run it on 3rd down prior to the 2 minute warning, they may have been successful because the Giants defense was winded on their heels. However, Donovan McNabb was trying to catch his breath and let 20 seconds slide away in favor of a timeout at the 2:00 mark. That my friends, is a vintage performance. To be fair though, McNabb had just scrambled seven yards. That's 21 feet! And 252 inches.
Ps: the Eagles are winless in divisional play.
Annoying/Aggravating Travel Note of the Week
I was prepared to fly out of LAX last week to return home and begin working on the Media Circus Craptacular Ballot. One problem: my flight was delayed and wasn't scheduled to take off for another three hours due to an engine problem. So I made a phone call and found an alternative way to get home.
Looking back, I should have stayed at the airport.
The Monday Football Column is written by Patrick Imig. His hang gliding accident was made worse because he had a colonoscopy scheduled hours later. Email him at patrick@joesportsfan.com.