The Monday Football Column written by Patrick Sajak is truly a great read." - Dick Stockton
Vernon Davis wishes he was Alex Smith for first time in his life
Things were so bad for the 49ers Sunday that Seattle fullback Leonard Weaver finished with 116 receiving yards and two touchdowns on four catches ... the same Leonard Weaver who had six receptions prior to Week 8, and 40 career catches and 325 yards prior to the '08 season. Amazingly, Weaver's 43 and 62 yard touchdown receptions weren't the low points for San Francisco.
In his first game as coach, Mike Singletary benched J.T. O'Sullivan after an interception and two lost fumbles. The coup de crap occurred in the 4th quarter when Singletary sent Vernon Davis to the showers after acting "nonchalantly" in response to his penalty for slapping a Seahawks player on the helmet. Sayeth V. Davis:
"I don't think I did anything wrong. If the coach thinks I did something wrong, I have to listen to him. He's the boss. ... I didn't know what was going on. I already know about Coach Singletary. He wants to win, and he's a hard-working guy. He won't tolerate anything."
In the category of 49ers 1st round busts of the decade, Davis ranks just beneath Alex Smith. I'm thinking that had Smith been playing and slapped a Seattle defender on the helmet, it wouldn't have drawn a penalty, given Smith's abnormally small hands. Regardless, Smith and Davis might soon be castaways. And later this week, two extreme challenges test the castaways. New Survivor, CBS Thursday.
Singletary scouting replacements for Vernon Davis
I guess it's never too late to add new talent. It's never too late ... Eleventh Hour, CBS Thursday.
Bruce Arians' genius player amongst league leaders in fines
Steelers offensive coordinator told Troy Aikman and the FOX crew that Hines Ward is the smartest player he's ever coached, with the exception of Peyton Manning. That intelligence was in full swing when Ward was assessed penalties for a false start and illegal formation at various points in the game. In a twist of irony, Ward and the Steelers played against Peyton Manning's brother and the now 6-1 Giants. Eli did something very un-Manning like in the 4th quarter when he attempted to call a timeout after the Giants had just broke the huddle ... ... after a timeout. He was slapped with a technical foul delay of game penalty, but avenged his gaffe with a 30 yard pass to Amani Toomer on 4th down. A comeback victory ensured a 6-1 record and Eli's personal redemption. The season premiere of 24: REDEMPTION, Sunday November 23rd on FOX.
Del Rio reacts to Matt Jones/Jamal Lewis cocaine swap
As Jamal Lewis should have told Jones, living on the wrong side of the tracks can lead to trouble. And if America's number one suspense-thriller is right, living on the wrong side of the tracks can kill you. An all new Criminal Minds, CBS Wednesday.
Andre Johnson wondering where all the "Mr. October" nicknames went
Johnson closed out the month with 41 catches, 593 yards and two touchdowns. In that same span, Houston went 3-1 marking their first three game winning streak in franchise history. A 4th quarter implosion in Week 5 against the Colts and overtime loss to the Jags are the difference between 3-4 and 5-2.
Even so, the Texans have scored at least 27 points in five straight games and rank 4th in yards per game with 371. With stability at the skill positions -- Schaub, Slaton, Johnson, Daniels -- and a supporting cast -- Ahman Green, Kevin Walter, Jacoby Jones -- Houston should continue to put up some impressive offensive numbers. Numb3rs, CBS Friday.
Eagles hold celebratory "Jelly Donut 500" after historic victory
By winning 27-14 over the Falcons, Philadelphia notched win #500 in franchise history, including the postseason. Interestingly, the win was career victory #100 for Andy Reid, including the playoffs. So the next time the Eagles lose a few games and people argue Reid should be fired or take a leave of absences to tend to his problem children, politely inform him or her that Reid is responsible for 20% of the team's wins IN HISTORY.
Other things Andy Reid comprises 20% of ...
-- the Eagles' combined daily caloric intake, including the staff of coaches and trainers
-- mustached Eagles coaches on the payroll
-- the city's metropolitan consumption of bacon
One other note on the Eagles and Andy Reid: the combination is now 10-0 the week after a bye since 1999, the first season Reid took over. Given his stature both figurative and literal, you could argue Andy Reid is equivalent to two or more men, which reminds me, Two and a Half Men, CBS Monday.
Ryan brothers convene to scare Raiders fans
Quite a feat to put fear into these people, but I guess I can't blame them. The twins meeting on-field was like a Halloween special. The Simpson's: Treehouse of Horror, next Sunday on Fox.
Cardinals prove they're still really good at losing
Arizona led by 14 points five minutes into the 3rd quarter, a great thing given their league high total of 82 points scored in the frame. But the Cardinals proceeded to produce two second half turnovers, aborted an extra point kick, and gave up a 15 yard draw to DeAngelo Willams on 3rd and 13 just inside two minutes of the 4th quarter. Yes, the Cardinals haven't enjoyed holding onto leads lately -- they choked away a 10 point lead in the last two minutes at home against Dallas in Week 6.
Nor do they like to play on the East Coast. They're winless in trips to D.C., New York and Charlotte and have been tied or led in the second half of two of their three losses. They're on the fringe of running away with the NFC West. Fringe; VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. Tuesday on Fox.
Toothless crowd in awe of offensive fireworks
Last season, the Giants and Dolphins scored a combined 23 points in front of 80,000 plus English people. The Saints and Chargers brought three times that, closing out their Week 8 contest with 69 points and 860 combined yards. Drew Brees got a little retribution on the team who sent him packing after shoulder surgery and the Saints got another home game nowhere near home. It was three years ago the Saints played a "home game" in New York against the Giants, and now they've played their home games across the globe. Perhaps it's Roger Goodell's way of protecting players from New Orleans? The city has never been more dangerous ... CSI: New York, CBS Wednesday.
Wade Phillips wipes postgame marshmallow creme clean from face
Sure it wasn't on or around his mouth at the time, but Wade knew that win or lose, he'd be dipping into a jar of marshmallow creme. He sees things other people can't see. The Mentalist, CBS Tuesday.
Kevin Faulk handed keys to the janitorial closet
With no Laurence Maroney, LaMont Jordan and Sammy Morris, the Patriots were left with Kevin Faulk as their starting running back. Faulk finished with a touchdown and 107 total yards on 17 touches, helping New England move to 5-2. Bill Belichick said of Faulk,
"It seems like you can always count on Kevin, no matter what phase of the game it's in. Whatever he can do to help us win, he'd do -- mop the floors, he'd mop them."
It's an interesting image, one ripe with entertainment value. To think that a 10 year veteran who's made millions of dollars playing football would actually mop the floor of Bill Belichick's office is hard to believe. I don't even think Belichick knows what clean is. If Faulk starts working with the mop, I hope NFL Films lets us in to see it. You do not want to miss this episode. HOUSE. Tuesday at 8, 7 central on FOX.
Vintage gunslings marred by comeback victory
Against the lowly Chiefs, the Jets eked out a four point win thanks to Brett Favre's touchdown pass to L. Coles late in the 4th quarter. The comeback win was a result of Favre's three interceptions, the last of which was returned for a Kansas City touchdown. Unfortunately for Jets fans, it's an act they'll have to get used to. Favre has thrown 7 interceptions in his last three games games. The Week 4 outlier aside, Favre has tossed 9 touchdowns to 10 interceptions in the six games he failed to record six touchdown passes. Perhaps the lack of Mike McCarthy influence is pushing the Gunslinger to his old form. He's on pace for his first 20+ INT season since '05. Hopefully for Jets fans, Favre will avoid the comedy of errors.
That's the type of comedy New Yorkers won't find very funny. Speaking of, Jay Mohr stars in a new comedy, Gary Unmarried, CBS Wednesday.
The Monday Football Column is written by Patrick Imig. He thinks Jay Mohr should only star in a show if people are allowed to pelt him with rocks and potatoes. Email him at patrick@joesportsfan.com.