Not even Dennis Eckersley’s magic mullet could save TBS this time.
Ted Turner’s old network looked to step up with the big boys this season by broadcasting the MLB ALCS and they were rewarded with a doozy - a seven gamer between the incumbent Red Sox and the upstart Rays. But even despite the dramatic series and attracting positive Media Circus karma by shining a spotlight on the ageless Eckersley, a brief snafu this past Saturday’s may become the symbol of TBS’ first foray into the world of League Championship Series’.
America tuned in to see Game 6 of the ALCS and instead got…
Yeah, the Steve Harvey Show. No scrolling update informing viewers of the technical difficulties or anything, just Cedric the Entertainer and Steve Harvey cracking jokes and wearing ugly clothes.
Here was TBS’ formal explanation...
Two circuit breakers in our Atlanta transmission operations tripped causing the master router and its backup – which are necessary to transmit any incoming feed outbound – to shut down. This impacted our live feed from being distributed to any of the other networks in the Turner portfolio and…really who gives a crap, we made millions of people watch an old rerun of the Steve Harvey Show when they were hoping to watch the Red Sox lose and for that we apologize. To make it up to America, we promise to have Pascual Perez complete with jheri curl in tact join Eck on set next year for your entertainment.
At least they’re contrite.
Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth
"What I love about (Trent Edwards) is that his toolbox is very full." - Trent Dilfer
His wrench and ratchet are second to none.
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"(Jay Cutler) seems to be a guy in a tuxedo with his zipper down." - Steve Young
The funny thing is that when he said this, Steve Young was wearing nothing but a tie around his bear chest.
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"Look at (Jay Cutler) rotates the spheroid." - Ron Jaworski
"(Vince Wilfork) is a plugger up front." - Ron Jaworski
If there was an independent statistics group that computed percentage of quotes laced with sexual tension, Ron Jaworski would be atop the power rankings every week.
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"Nobody play action passes better than the Bears offense." - Sterling Sharpe, NFL Network
The Colts might have something to say about that, Sterling. But since there aren't play action ratings, we'll let that one slide.
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"Understand Kellen Winslow is a very emotional young man. We saw what happened at the University of Miami when you'd catch him after a loss. He didn't play well in this game, he didn't play much in this game." - Michael Smith
Uh, Michael, Kellen didn't play in Sunday's loss to the Redskins. Promise.
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"I'd rather not know what it is and not comment on it," - Donald Driver, on the Favre/Lions story
You and the rest of the media, Donald.
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"Cole Hamels has a wonderful change-up and for that reason he doesn’t always throw it to lefthanded batters.” – Tim McCarver
McCarver has made a habit of teasing viewers with tidbits like this making them think that there is some interesting explanation behind it. Alas, there is nothing. Just a nonsensical statement left dangling until the next one takes it's place.
Baldy and Sterling Unleash Stupidity on NFL Network
The NFL Network's answer to ESPN's NFL Matchup, AFC Playbook and NFC Playbook, isn't nearly as entertaining as its peer. For starters, there's no former quarterbacks who break down three yard slants as if they're watching porno. Secondly, the show is commanded by Brian Baldinger and Sterling Sharpe, two guys who fit quite well into the category of "former football players who sound like idiots and have diarrhea of the mouth".
At the end of each program, the two guys face off as part of "Coor's Light Cold Logic", an ad-sponsored excuse to choose one option over the other ... in this case, specific matchups involving player X going up against Team Y's defense.
Instead of using the segment to spray some insight and logic from former players, Baldy and Sterling seem to be vying for host of Daily Affirmation.
You might have come into the show wondering what the two thought about ... ... ... ... ... ...
Lee Evans vs. Chargers D
"I like Lee Evans." - Baldy
"Love me some Lee Evans." - Sterling Sharpe
Hines Ward vs. Bengals D
"I like Hines Ward." - Sharpe
"I would never go against Hines Ward." -Baldy
Brandon Marshall vs. Patriots D
"Love me some Brandon Marshall." - Sterling
"And I think Jay Cutler loves him as well." - Baldy
Gus Frerotte vs. Bears D
"I like the Bears defense." - Baldy
"I like the Vikings offense. I like Bernard Berrian. ... I like Gus Frerotte and I love the running game of Adrian Peterson." - Sterling
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Joe Theismann, if you're reading, now you know why you can't find a job; Baldy and Sterling have your role down cold.
At Least We Know Who's the Best Mustached NFL.com Writer
We Feel Bad For Richie
Make no mistake, Richie Incognito is a meathead. He was a meathead when he got kicked out of Nebraska and then Oregon, he was a meathead when he got drafted by the Rams and he was a meathead when he almost cost the Rams their first win of the season two weeks ago by getting a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty literally seconds before Josh Brown was lined up to kick the winning field goal.
But sometimes we feel bad for the guy.
Mainly, because we’re beyond sick of reading and hearing the standard jokes about the duel meaning of his last name, and we can’t even fathom how annoying it would be to have lived your entire life being inundated with them.
Richie has been the subject of the Bob Carpenter Snappy Line in the past, but his increased profile after this latest incident has taken the joke to even lower points. It’s one thing when a headline writer or an announcer lays one on us. It’s another thing all together when an Incognito one-liner is dropped in the ever-so-awkward transition between a local network news anchor and the sports guy.
It gets no worse than that. Witness St. Louis’ own Mike Bush throwing it to Rene Knott…
We can imagine that after hearing that joke for the 57,000 time, it would be totally justified to go out, get a tribal arm tattoo and kick someone’s ass.
Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line
Knowing Philadelphia was on the verge of their first trip to the World Series in 15 years, the guys at Fox put on their best efforts to make the final game of the NLCS as memorable as possible. And when you talk memories with the Carpster, you're talking about good old fashioned snappiness.
"How appropriate for Victorino to make the catch by the Best Buy sign, because you could argue he's been the best buy for the Phillies in the last ten years." - Tim McCarver
Sure, you could also argue for Brad Lidge among many others, but that's not what's important right now. What's important is that The Bobber is ready to uncork that champagne sparkling grape juice in celebration of Chris Myers:
"For the Phillies, a phanatical celebration." - Chris Myers
Very few people are able and willing to seamlessly incorporate the team mascot into a snappy parting, shot, but Chris Myers just did. Not surprisingly, he got two thumbs and a wink from Robert C.
The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig. They swear this stuff is real. Email them at info@joesportsfan.com.