Usually the phrase we often ask ourselves is “What do I want to be when I grow up?” Well, I know WHAT I want to be. I just don’t exactly know WHO I want to be.

When I was little, I wanted to play baseball for the Cardinals. I lived and breathed baseball. Even in high school I felt that I had the ability to play baseball at a high level. But I got sick of the politics in the sport. I also hated the fact that even though you played on a “team”, most of the time you inherently wanted others on your team to fail so you’d get more playing time, play a more desirable position, or hit higher up in the batting order. I opted for the safe route, getting a desk job working with numbers.

What I WANT to be when I grow up is a poker player. I’m not saying my full time job is bad or boring, but when you ask yourself what you want to be, I believe you’re supposed to fantasize a little. I probably won’t ever be a full time poker player, as I get frustrated and sometimes bored even at the frequency I currently play. If I played a ton, after a while I fear it would feel like a job.

In this column I’m going to explain WHO I want to be when I grow up. So since I want to be a poker player, I think it would be best to pick certain things that I emulate or admire about poker players. I can amalgamate these traits into one perfect being that I’d want to eventually be. Let’s start!

Doyle Brunson

He stands the test of time. Players come and go, but he adjusts his game and wins in virtually any game, against any style. He has an intimidation factor that isn’t forceful, but very powerful. He intimidates with pressure, his reads and his years of experience.

Tom Dwan

He’s the master of loose aggression. Many people fail miserably at this style yet more and more people are trying this approach. It’s cool to see a guy who at the age of 22 or 23 can make experienced pros quiver in their seats. Being the younger generation of poker players, he is also very sound mathematically and is aware of all the internet poker tracking stats.

Barry Greenstein

He steals from the rich and gives to the needy. He takes a wee percentage but he’s not greedy. The self-proclaimed Robin Hood of poker, Barry Greenstein, for a long time had given his net tournament winnings to charity. I’m not sure he does this anymore, but regardless, giving sizeable amounts to charities is a noble deed. I’d like to focus more on volunteering and charity work as I get older, when I’m in better financial position to give back to society, that is, after the government stops all the fucking handouts to people who have no fiscal responsibility.

Andy Bloch

I have to admire a guy who figured a system to beat blackjack, a game that has robbed me of my sanity. The last straw for me was several years ago when I played poker on Party Poker. They added a Blackjack game that you could “conveniently” play while you are playing poker. I’d play for just $1 per hand just for shits and giggles. (Does anyone ever actually giggle when they shit? Where the hell has this phrase come from?) I’d be down about $25 and figure the only way to make that back is to play $2 per hand. Then I’d be down $100 and increase my betting to $5 per hand. My “One flew over the cuckoo’s nest” moment was soon in the history books after losing about 39 out of the next 40 hands, a damn near statistical impossibility. Online poker may not be rigged, but it would take quite an argument for someone to convince me this scheist was legit. So kudos to Mr. Bloch for beating casino blackjack games. I’d like to see him tackle Party Poker blackjack though.

Darvin Moon

I’d love to go on a run in life like he has so far in the 2009 World Series Main Event. I’d love to just run into good fortune no matter what I do. Maybe find a winning lottery ticket on the floor of a soiled gas station bathroom. Or maybe I could finally invest in something and it actually INCREASE in value. I’ve made two brilliantly timed investments in my life…I bought a bunch of tech stocks in March of 2000 and I bought rental property in 2007. Luckily there are no bubbles in poker…ugh…what am I doing to myself?

David Williams

You have to love a guy who cares more about bling than sting. David Williams must be real fun to stand behind in line at the airport metal detector. I wear no jewelry other than my wedding ring, and have no piercings, other than when my soul was pierced when Holliday dropped that fly ball. I want to bling it up a little more in the future and maybe add a Circuit Event ring or WSOP bracelet to my jewelry “collection”.

Daniel Negreanu

Daniel is probably my favorite player. I generally like to talk at the table and be the table captain. Negreanu is the master at talking to his opponents to get information, whereas I mostly do it for entertainment and intimidation. One of his best attributes is that he seemingly can almost put you on the exact hand you are holding. He’s just sick in his reads.

Clonie Gowan

I love how she is deceptively powerful at the poker table. She’s taken down several Poker After Dark tournaments and is successful in large tournaments and cash games. Beauty and Power can go a long way. I don’t have either of those, so I long for them.

Phil Hellmuth

He’s really good at poker. I want to be really good at poker. He’s a poker brat. I often can act like a poker brat. This I want to change.

Gus Hansen

Ahhh, the ladies love Gus. I’m not exactly sure why. I guess he can be charming. Women seem to be infatuated with him. In a way I think he looks like a skeleton prop from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Since I’m married I wouldn’t be looking to pick up women, but being able to lay on the charm could have its advantages.

Howard Lederer

He’s known as the Professor. Professor of what, I have no idea. Maybe he teaches people how to look uninterested in everything you do, how to slouch in your chair and bore people to death on TV. When I’m older, and assuming I get wiser, I would like to teach others about my life experiences.

Vanessa Rousso

What do I emulate about Vanessa? I don’t think I can even get that far in my thought process on this one. My Neanderthal instincts take over. Grrrrr…mmmmmm…pretty. She real pretty. Mmmmm. Need cold water.

Phil Ivey

He’s just the best. We all want to be the best. Not much else to say. The guy is the shit.
So if I can just take all of these pieces and put them together in say 10-15 years, life should be pretty damn good. I really enjoy watching these players on TV. They are all in a way the best at what they do. Who do you think is the best poker player in the world? You can vote by following this link and you can even vote for yourself by submitting your Twitter ID on the page.

http://tweeter.faxo.com/Worlds_Best_Poker_Player

Thad