Maggie Barlow   Age: 28   Demographic: Born: South St. Louis/Lives: Port Orange, FL   High School: Notre Dame   Favorite Restaurant(s): Zia's, Chris'

 
I watched a porn movie called Ass Angels with David and Nick.

I wrote earlier that the experience of watching porn with two guys was a cool one. I suspect I have watched just as much porn in my life as these two ball sacks have watched; however, it was fun to play dumb and ask questions. Men love when they think they know some shit that you don’t know. I love how they explain it in some convoluted manner, thinking they are making perfect sense.

So, we are watching this movie, which is almost exclusively anal sex. The movie featured a variety of girls; some of which were kinda cute. Others looked like they might have been an administrative assistant or maybe a waitress most recently, and were anxious to supplement their income in hopes of buying a new Mustang…or maybe a swing set. The movie also featured a variety of dicks, most of which were quite large.

Yeah, the girls in this movie would get their butt blasted by the guys, and when the guys pulled their dicks from the girl’s ass, her ass did not close…instead, it stayed open. Sometimes, the girl would insert her fingers and assist her sphincter in remaining open, but often, it just stayed open on its own. The guy could penetrate her without his penis even being hard; often the penis would not even fill up her hole. Not to get too graphic here, but ultimately the guy would masturbate into her ass, and the camera would zoom in to show the splooge lodged somewhere inside her anal cavity.

I will not bore you all with a bang-by-bang account of this movie, but this fascinated me. David informed me this condition was called anal gaping.

Anal gaping…what’s up with that?

Is it real?
Can anyone do it?
Is there like an anal speculum required?

These are all questions I had involving this sphincter phenomenon. Unfortunately, available sources of accurate information left much to be desired. David assured me that any girl could gape.  It only required her to relax and the guy to take his time while penetrating her for an extended period of time. Nick was even less help, as he admitted to never having had anal sex. Apparently, he and David’s relationship is not as close as I imagined.

Now, I enjoy anal sex. I find it pleasurable, and I am usually orgasmic. I prefer to be on my back for this penetration, with my legs raised above my head, and my butt slightly elevated. The more conventional doggie style is acceptable also, but I do like to watch. This brings me to the issue of being able to watch the penis penetrate my ass, and more exactly, to see if I can gape.

I wanted to gape, and I wanted to be able to see.

Yeah, I know…I can see the e-mails now…so, before any of you write to me suggesting I am a butt-slut, and that you could lose a wine bottle in my ass…I get the irony.

Now, I understand the laws of physics enough to get that if you repeatedly use an item with low rigidity qualities, that item is gonna get stretched. I notice if I keep a pair of socks or underwear long enough, they don’t fit quite like they did when they were new.

Friday morning, Nick left for Atlanta. He will be gone all weekend. David called Thursday night and said he would help me experience this gaping thing. He assured me knew just what to do…hmmm. It is not normal in our relationship for David to be a rung or two above me on the sexual knowledge ladder. I am okay with him knowing the name for this gaping thing, but I am not sure how he has any tangible experience in the area. Perhaps I already gape, and nobody ever told me. I was curious for sure, and I wanted to get to the bottom of this issue. Oh, that was bad wasn’t it?

When David got home, he handed me a bag containing a bullet-shaped vibrator. I have an aversion to sexual toys, as I find them to be impersonal. I named the dildo I got for Christmas 'Tom Brady', for no particular reason other than I wanted to put a picture in my mind as it penetrated me, and maybe because I imagine the actual Tom Brady might be similar in physical appearance to the dildo. This vibrator was smaller than Tom Brady; however, since it was battery-powered, it seemed eager to please me. Attitude can mean a lot more than size in many sexual situations. I named this vibrator 'Tim McKernan', although I did not share this knighting decision with David.

David and I discussed his anal strategy over a pizza. He said the trick was to use plenty of lubricant so everything was relaxed. You might consider me to be evil, but this is where I get so much pleasure when I talk to David about a subject in which he believes he is well-informed. I can tell he is eating this up, thinking he is able to enlighten me about something involving sex. I listened to him go on about how I should play with myself while he is fucking me. He also planned to utilize Tom Brady and Tim McKernan for this experiment; assuring me that Tim McKernan would loosen and relax me, while Tom Brady would “force” my sphincter to open wider than his actual penis would.

All of this would result in a perfect storm of sexual pleasure for me…and, I would gape.

I tried to keep a straight face as I feigned fascination in his anal knowledge. When he got to the part where he told me he would do this for me; however, there was not so much pleasure in it for him. Okay…I am about to lie on my back with my ass in the air, and my ankles behind my ears, while he knocks the bottom out of my ass with both his penis and a couple of sex toys. Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining, Shoe Boy. You are gonna fuck my ass for as long as you want, under the guise of conducting some spousal satisfying experiment in carnal curiosity, all while watching ESPN. I think I know which way the wind is blowing here.

After dinner, I got naked and helped David remove his pants. I sucked his dick until he got quite hard, and he handed me the anal-eaze stuff to rub on the head. I smeared some on myself as I lay back on the floor. David grabbed my legs and rolled me up so he had a more desirable angle to penetrate me. He pushed his penis against my sphincter, and entered me without resistance or difficulty. After maybe putting half of his dick inside me, he withdrew. I asked him if I gaped, as I strained to look for myself. He said I did not gape, and that my butt hole closed tightly immediately after he pulled out of it.

I suggested that he get his phone and take a picture in case future attempts resulted in a gape.

I also suggested that he might stick his tongue in my ass (like some of the guys in the movie), and perhaps that would help. David said that was just done for effect and had no real value to the experiment.

Tim McKernan felt great inside of me and also stimulating the myriad nerve endings of my sphincter. I definitely want to try anal with Tim McKernan when David is not around sometime.

To make a long story short, this is maybe the most ridiculous thing I have ever done sexually. Not only was I unable to discernibly gape, I also did not orgasm. It was all like industrial or scientific. David was just holding his dick inside me, and watching television, and I was just alternately squeezing and the releasing my sphincter against first his penis, and later Tom Brady. David’s Tom Brady theory proved to be erroneous, as he was unable to even get Tom Brady deep enough inside me to have the desired impact. Honestly, Tom Brady hurt me…there, I said it. Tom Brady was too big for my sphincter.

David did take several cell phone pictures during this disaster, and he also used his phone to video record a portion of it. Watch for that on YouTube next week.

When we finally gave up on the gaping thing, he rolled me over and did me doggie-style, finishing on my ass.

This is the second consecutive week that I have written about a failed sexual experiment.

Maybe I am pushing things too much.

Maybe I am trying to hard.

I am also guilty of those same things in my efforts to get pregnant. Countless people have advised me to just take it easy, relax, and let things happen naturally in this area.

I should prolly employ that same philosophy in my sex life.

But, who would wanna read that?

Maggie writes 'Maggie on Top' every Wednesday.  Question or Comment?  Send an e-mail to maggirl2k2@hotmail.com.