I like to watch.

I like to watch people, that is.

I am not a big fan of actually interacting with people, but I like to watch them.

If I am at the mall, the beach, or maybe at a bar or a restaurant, I like to watch people. My job at the airport also provides a nice mix of people to watch.

I don’t just watch people, I study them. I size them up in my mind and try to assume things about their lifestyle, personality, and behavior. I have been doing this for several years now, and while I realize it is not an exact science, it is a fun little thing to do while I pass the time…yeah, I spend a lot of time alone.

I used to try to guess whether people were married when I looked at them. If you get close enough that is kinda easy; there is that ring thing going on a lot of times.

For a while, I tried to determine the religious denomination of people, but once Baptists began playing bingo, my little trick was no longer accurate.

Or, I would imagine their political affiliations. This is often difficult to do, unless a bumper sticker gives them away.

There is an old saying…”You can’t judge a book by its cover”, and that is very true when it comes to assuming things about people merely by looking at them.

However, I have found, and this is a pretty exact science, that most people can be grouped into one of two categories…

People who like hot dogs.

People who like tacos.

Now, I am not saying that I follow people around and wait for them to indulge in some culinary fare so I can put a mental hash mark next to their name. This is different.

I have found that most people who like hot dogs are female, and most people who like tacos are male. I am not sure why that is, or why the line is so clearly drawn, but trust me, it is a pretty accurate barometer, and I do have some theories on this phenomenon.

I think most girls prefer hot dogs because they are easy. I mean the hot dog is easy to handle; it fits comfortably in either your hand or your mouth, and it is easy to enjoy a hot dog, and not have to be totally focused on what you are doing. You can think about what you are gonna do after you finish the hot dog, or maybe when the new season of LOST is gonna start, and still do a nice job with the hot dog. The hot dog is a nice smooth object, simple to master, and while there is usually a sauce of some sort to deal with, that is easy enough to slurp down right along with the hot dog.

In contrast, tacos are more difficult to enjoy. They are messy and much more difficult to eat. There are techniques to be employed, and precautions to be taken. Additionally, there is that whole endurance thing to be considered. Eating a taco is truly a test of a guy, and it is something I personally enjoy watching a guy do. I think you can tell a lot about a guy by watching him eat a taco. Proper hand or digit manipulation is a prerequisite when eating a taco and the tongue must also play a big role in this activity. Tacos are much more of a challenge than hot dogs and present obstacles ranging from an uncomfortable positioning of your neck (when done right), to the mess that is often made along the way. No matter how much you try to avoid it, there is always something to wipe off your face after a taco session.

Sure, a hot dog would fit just as easily in a guy’s hand as it does in a girl’s hand, and I know guys love to have a hot dog in their hand. Most guys prefer to have a taco in their mouth though, and I guess I can understand that. On that note, I think many girls want to at least try a taco now and then. Honestly, I think a lot of girls have tried a taco and perhaps they had a bad experience or something. Tacos are inconsistent by design, and perhaps they got a hold of a taco that smelled bad or something…I dunno. 

As I said before, this little game is a pretty exact science; however, it is not always so black and white. There are members of the male gender who are exclusively hot dog connoisseurs, and there are females who strictly consume tacos.

The guys who prefer hot dogs are somewhat easy to spot in a crowd, usually. They seem to be more animated than most males, and often enjoy dancing, cooking and other activities; which one might more closely associate with the female gender. I am not sure if this is a coincidence or if interacting with hot dogs causes it. Bumper stickers also play a role in my little game when it comes to identifying and categorizing these guys.

Now, the girls who skew my game are not so easy to spot. Yeah, often they have a certain look to them, but that is not always the case. I am amazed at how many females, who prefer tacos to hot dogs, also prefer to have a wallet as opposed to a purse. This wallet is most often attached to a belt with a big chain of some sort. I wonder about the actual ingredients of tacos, and the effect those ingredients might have on a person of either gender. I say this because, apparently, girls who prefer tacos seem to develop many of the same characteristics of guys. They wear strange shoes, they dress in a somewhat masculine manner, and they spit…have you noticed that? Girls who like prefer tacos over hot dogs seem to have a higher proclivity to spitting in public.

And, as I eluded previously, there are members of both genders who mess up my categories by eschewing choice, and dabbling with both hot dogs and tacos. I get that…I mean, in addition to defining yourself as an open-minded and enlightened individual, you also effectively double your chance for a date on Saturday night.

Yeah, hot dogs and tacos are as diametrically opposite as the people who prefer each, and yet, those same people are almost always attracted to people who are on the other side of the fence when it comes to these same preferences.

Sadly, many households are defined by the other distinctions I mentioned at the beginning of this article. Most households are clearly Catholic, or clearly Republican, with no room for differing views or opinions.

It is so cool how something as simple as a hot dog or a taco can bring people together.

What a boring world it would be, if everyone liked the same thing.

Savvy?