So, a couple of weeks ago, I had a “late in” at my real job, and I wanted to catch a little sun, but did not feel like going all the way down to the pool. Instead, I decided to just put on my suit, and lie out on a lounge chair in the area of common ground behind our condo. I oiled myself up, got a bottle of water and a book, and set up shop. Oh yeah, I also took my dog (who is still a puppy, I guess). I put him on a leash and wrapped it around the arm of the chair. Initially, I left the chair in the upright position, but after about thirty minutes, I got up, reclined the chair, and turned over on my stomach. I reached back and untied my top, then resumed reading my book. A few minutes later, my puppy  started to growl and bark, so I stopped reading to see what had his attention. One of those small lizard thingies had invaded our space, and Jack seemed eager to interact with it.


Now, these lizards are prolly harmless; however, they are definitely in the top five of annoying pests in Florida (behind Mexicans, cockroaches, tourists, and NASCAR fans).


I went back to reading my book, and then BOOM, my chair jerks and my puppy has pulled the leash from my chair, and bolted around the corner of our building in hot pursuit of the lizard.


I jumped up and chased after him.


My swimsuit top remained behind on the chair.


Finally, I caught the cerebrally impaired canine just before he got to the street and parking area. I corralled him with one hand, covered myself as best I could with the other, and hurried back to the back yard.


The following Friday morning, I am vacuuming the living room of our condo, wearing just a pair of shorts. The front door is closed, but the whole front of our condo is glass from floor to ceiling. This is not a huge problem as the closest building to us is across a parking lot and a lake, and foot traffic is usually minimal in the area. So, now both dogs go crazy and begin barking as if there is an intruder or something. I turn off the vacuum, and walk over to the large front window to see what the deal is. As I get there, one of the guys from the condo office is on the sidewalk, walking away from our condo, but looking over his right shoulder as he does.


Yeah, we made eye contact, and I moved quickly to my left and behind the curtain. I went into the laundry room and grabbed a t-shirt, then went back and opened the front door. There was an envelope stuck in the screen door. It was addressed to me so I opened it, figuring someone had noticed me not picking up the turds my dogs drop all over the place, and complained about it. Instead, the envelope contained a rather tersely worded warning, advising me that I had violated a condominium by-law when I chased my dog around the building while topless. Further, the warning reminded me of existing municipality laws regarding nudity as they relate to female swimming attire. In closing, the author of this warning assured me that while he had managed to appease the offended resident this time, further infractions of this nature would be considered as a repeat offense, and that there might be fines or civil penalties levied.


Now I am pissed.


They are breasts, and not even good ones at that.


Of course, I wanna run after this dickhead, and give him a piece of my mind; however, because he just witnessed me looking out the window half-naked…I refrained.


As many of you may remember, I have annoyed several people with my inappropriate exposures over the years. I have frequented drive-thrus, bought gas and cigarettes, and paid the pizza guy while intentionally exposing myself. I prolly got a discount on some carpet cleaning service last year by flaunting my breasts, and I incurred the wrath of a Korean woman at the flea market, when she caught her husband staring down my blouse at my obviously unencumbered boobs.


Yeah, David is a lucky guy.


Recently, Daytona Beach has been somewhat of a hotbed for equal rights regarding women’s breasts. Elizabeth Book championed an effort to remove what she (and many others) felt were discriminatory laws concerning a female baring her breasts in public. This effort quickly became a public protest, resulting in many heated exchanges and demonstrations from citizens on both sides of the issue. Ms. Book’s persistence prevailed, and her case wound up in front of a sympathetic judge who allowed her to appear topless in public while advancing her cause during a protest.


I strongly considered joining in this protest; however, I did not. I felt the event would be portrayed as a freak show, and the message board regulars on this site fill my requisite for that categorization quite nicely.


Although Ms. Book was allowed to protest while not wearing a shirt, women are still prohibited from sunbathing topless on any beach in Volusia County, or from casually removing their shirt in public, as any male can do without violating public laws or societal imposed preferences.


As a member of the female gender, I applaud Elizabeth Book. It is about time someone had the nerve to stand and fight for what is right. This country was founded on equal rights. Should I, or any female not have the same rights as a man?


I feel that I should be afforded the same option as a man when deciding whether to wear a shirt in public. I readily admit there are numerous places where I would not feel comfortable without a shirt, but I rarely see men without shirts in those places. If I am at the beach, a sporting event, a county park, or in a lawn chair a few feet outside of my condo…I should have the same options a man does.


I also find it hypocritical that many legislators, who impose these laws, are routinely caught in strip bars, which ironically are legal in Volusia County.


I am not sure how often I would exercise these coveted rights, but I would like to have them in the bank…just in case.


Oh well, I have waxed poetic about equal rights long enough.


When David got home that night, I showed him the warning, and he laughed at me and  called me a show-off. In defiance of the warning, we fucked on the couch, right in front of the window. It was quite erotic as I bounced on top of his penis, knowing people across the lake could be watching me with binoculars. Afterwards, David consoled me and told me if I felt so strongly about equal rights, I was welcome to walk around the house topless or naked, whenever I wanted…even if we had guests over.

As soon as I get my nerve up, Nick is in for a treat.