As the day of turkey eating and football watching approaches us, I think it is appropriate for a prelude column to the big event. Everyone does Thanksgiving a little bit differently with their secret stuffing recipe, afternoon versus evening start time, and the mystery pie that everyone devours, but you (the newbie to the family) question. This year will be the first time I am not with my family on Thanksgiving and I've started to think about the possible differences that I might encounter.


Like most people in a serious relationship or for those of you who experience the wild world of in-laws, you've come to learn that holidays and important dates must be compromised on and shared. Big family events get even stickier when relatives are spread between states. Seeing as G is from Indiana and I reside in St. Louis, Thanksgiving turned out to be the first major holiday/family event we've had to discuss. Indiana or St. Louis? My family or yours? Your family's fried turkey or my family's kick ass mashed potatoes?  I've come to learn there is no right answer to these types of questions and I can't imagine how people who have family spread all over the country keep in touch during the holidays.

I've been to Indiana numerous times, but never for the holidays and never giving up time with my family to spend with G's. I followed "protocol" and instantly alerted my sister and two older cousins (who might as well be my sisters) that I would be not attending. After the usual "well I guess you will be missing out on Grandma's cooking..." they all gave me the green light to go to Indy. Next, came Grandma. Gulp. I don't how your family is set up, but on my mom's side of the family, the Grandma is the glue. Grandma is the commander in chief and she has executive power over all major decisions. My Grandma is almost 85 years old, just shy of 6 feet fall, a proud church-going, South City Baptist who can kick your butt any day of the week. Like I said, GULP, I have to tell Grandma I'm not going to be at Thanksgiving.

After some typical Grandma schmoozing, I laid the bomb on her. Luckily, for me Grandma had met G before and referred to him as "the young man I met at Ava's birthday? Oh well, he seems very nice. Tell him Happy Thanksgiving for me."


Sister: Check

Cousins: Check

Grandma: Check...whew.


After my family cleared my decision, I was left to my curiosity as to the way G's family runs their Thanksgiving. Do they bake or fry their turkey? Do they watch football all day long? Is their stuffing going to match up to Grandma's because I eat the crap out of some stuffing! (Hello, one-time fat kid here). Do I get to help in the kitchen? Do they eat in the afternoon or evening? How many people come to it? If it is going to be all his relatives that is going to be a heck of a feast! Do I get to take my usual after-meal nap? Canned cranberries or the real deal? Do they dress up or are jeans ok? What if they have some non-traditional dish like macaroni and cheese or potato salad? Do I have to eat it? Do they drink wine or beer or is it strictly non-alcoholic? What type of pie will they have? Do they pray before they eat? Does everyone have to say what they are thankful for? Real or fake mashed potatoes?

Like I said, LOTS to consider. Don't lie, those of you with in-laws or a boyfriend/girlfriend's side of the family with whom you will be spending Thanksgiving, these types of questions cross your mind.

I will leave you today will all questions and no answers. Stayed tuned to next Friday's column to see how my Hoosier Thanksgiving turned out.

BTW: I wonder if my Grandma can mail me some of her stuffing to Podunk, IN?
Hmmm...