“First of all, I want to thank Tiger for not being here.”
– Sergio Garcia, during his trophy presentation at the Players Championship.
Considering Tiger hasn't done shit at the Players since winning it in 2001, no need to thank him, Sergio. You may, however, want to thank Stan Utley, who has helped you learn how to make a five footer when it counts. There is no doubt that Garcia may be the best player on Tour from tee to green and the worst with the flat stick, but he made the putts when they counted on Sunday. His 50 foot bomb on 14 was a thing of beauty, and the twelve footer on 18 in regulation 
would have been three inches left a few weeks ago.
The win vaulted Garcia into the top 10 of the world rankings and on top of the list of "best golfer never to win a major." I still think that title belongs to Monty, but let the debate begin. It also marked another win by the 20-something group. This is a list that continues to grow without Tiger playing. The 28 year old Garcia actually sounded like a ten year old during his press conference, saying the best thing about winning was that now the media would leave him alone. The media? Fuck off! I never heard the media blame flag sticks, divots, firm greens, weather, tee times and tight pants for a bad day. Grow up Sergio, and send Utley a piece of your $1.7 million because without him, you would have been bitching about slow play on your way to a T5.
The only person happier than Sergio after his win at the Players was Tim Finchem. Finchem still loses sleep over Craig Perks winning in 2002, but he had to be a little worried when the top three names on the leader board were Goydos, Quinney and Baird. Nice guys, but yikes! They say anyone can win at Sawgrass because it doesn't favor any certain player, but Craig Perks is now a club pro in Louisiana. Not quite what you're looking for in a Players champion.
With Phil's T-23, the streak of no player ever defending at the Players is still intact. As a matter of fact, Jack's T-5 in 1977 is closest anyone has come.
The analyst of the week award goes to Johnny Miller. He predicted Jeff Quinney would win the tournament. When asked why, his response, "I dont know, I just have a feeling." Yowser!
Paul Goydos was the first player Thursday morning to hit a ball into the water on 17. Unfortunately, he was also the last to do it on Sunday evening.
In LPGA news, I might have been wrong a few weeks back when I said Annika was over the hill and could no longer compete with Ochoa. Not only did she compete at the Michelob Ultra Open, she beat Ochoa by 12 shots on her way to victory #3 in 2008. She finished at -19 to defeat Lee, Jung, Kang, Ohn, Kim and Jang by 7 shots. It's been a surprising year thus far on the LPGA Tour. It took four months for someone named Kim to win this year. The surprise was that it happened on the PGA Tour.
No surprise that Michelle Wie missed another cut. With 90 players in the field shooting par or better on Thursday, Wie shot 74. After her round, Wie gave her usual response, "I hit the ball well; I just didn't get any breaks." What breaks did you expect on your two drives slicing 40 yards out of bounds? Was it a bad break that they didn't hit a tree and bounce into the fairway? Guess it's time to fire another caddy.
In other not surprising news, The Ginn Tribute hosted by Annika is not inviting Wie back this year. What a shock, considering she withdrew last year when she was in jeopardy of shooting 88, but blamed it on a bad wrist. Then, she was seen hitting balls on the range a few hours later.
Not sure how this story got by me, but it's not surprising since it's the LPGA. A half dozen players not eligible for the pro-am last week at the SemGroup Championship were on the putting green with their caddies standing on the fringe. Turns out a couple of players were having a putting contest when a caddy was standing in their line. They asked him to move (he did) but that wasn't enough. They went to the commissioner to complain about crowded conditions on the green, and a new policy was enacted that bans caddies from being on the practice green between the hours of 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. The fine for a caddy being on the green, to work with his player's mechanics or retrieve balls from the cup mind you, is $500. Jesus Christ! Doesn't Bivens have more pressing issues than to worry about some loopers getting in the way of some no name chicks putting contest to see who gets to be the man in the relationship? You have to be pretty low in the pecking order not to get into a Pro-Am on the LPGA Tour, yet Bivens bans caddies from the putting green because these chicks complained. Get a Florida swing before you worry about overcrowding on the practice green.
The Golf Channel seems to be in the news every week, but it always seems to be negative. The Golf Channel did not sent a camera or even a reporter last week to the SemGroup Championship where Lorena Ochoa was going for a record-tying fifth consecutive victory in six weeks. I guess Nobilo, Barr, Lyle and Lerner were busy kissing ass on the PGA Tour. Where was Stephanie Sparks or that English douche with the bad teeth? Personally, I don't give a shit about the LPGA either but then again, I don't boast about being the only place to go for golf news.
Speaking of TGC, could you please explain to Tim Rosaforte that talking to Paul Goydos' highschool golf coach's sister's boyfriend does not make him an insider?
Every fucking week I have to watch this guy, sitting there with his note cards, telling us he just got off of the phone with some golfers' garbageman who told him said player is looking for a new putter. I beg of you Golf Channel, for the eighth week in a row, bring back Peter Kessler.
And finally, congrats to Colt Knost on winning his first professional title at the Fort Smith Classic Sunday, shooting a 5-under 65 to edge Darron Stiles by a stroke. Knost, the U.S. Amateur champ last year at Olympic Club, finished 12-under 268. It wouldn't surprise me if he wins two more events this year and goes straight to the PGA Tour. If not, look for him next year to compete with the big boys, and dare I say, win an event. There, I said it. Colt will win in his rookie year on the PGA Tour.