You know who this whole Brett Favre melodrama is good for? That skinny black wideout making the diving catch in the back of the end zone from a rolling out cargo shorted #4. That's who. He probably sucks, but he's going to get a scholarship solely on the fact we've seen that catch seven thousand times these past 3 weeks on every single EdWerder report...
Braden Looper has huge jowls. Ryan Howard has an enormous boiler. From this information I can safely surmise that it's much more beneficial for a
baseball player to have a pot belly than acro-magnum face since Ryan Howard hits every pitch Braden Looper throws into Lake St Louis...
Manny is just being Manny who happens to be a dick. People always forget that last point...
Do you think it will be a bigger disappointment to Cardinals upper-management when the Major League team is eliminated from playoff contention or when the Class A team is eliminated from playoff contention. I'm only kind of kidding...
Boyz II Men are not sellouts. At least that's what I can surmise from the crowd at 'Live Off the Levee' Friday night. I assumed- wrongly, I might add- that a couple thousand 25-30 year olds that danced hands to shoulders/hips injr. high would be out en masse to relive such classics as 'End of the Road' or 'On Bended Knee'. I also assumed that the African-American community would stay away, disdainful to the pandering that BIIM did in the mid-90's to get crackers like me to buy their tapes. Uh. No. I was in the minority in this Motown revival review. Which was awesome because a) there was a spontaneous dance off on the sidewalk while about 200 people circled around b) the electric slide broke out- twice and c) I hate white people...
You know expectations on Albert Pujols are high when I made a monetary bet that not only would he hit a HR against Brad Lidge Saturday night, but that he would send the first ball out of the stadium and send him into a career death spiral...
Scott Linehan (or Cheese Pizza, as I call him because he's so plain) has to feel like he's snake bit. The Rams actually come out with a pretty cool marketing scheme- I happen to like the black smoke morphing into players- but they come with a little problem...the star of the big Rams push won't come to work. And oh- the Rams won't talk to him. 10 years from now I think St. Louis will look with some pity on this unbelievably forgettable period in the franchise's history, but at this point I wouldn't hire Scott to wipe his own ass without some concern he'd screw something up...
Izzy won't make it to the end of the year as the closer, let's be honest. I'm not sure who we're trying to kid here, but it's not funny. Usually I'd make a smart-ass joke here. Sometimes they just write themselves...
Last Monday night I was getting sick of watching porn and decided to cruise over to Craigslist.org and read the Missed Connections. If you're not familiar with these, check them out for St Louis HERE. It's be a long-standing goal of mine to be a 'missed connection'; to my surprise on Monday- I was... with a guy who was. I recognized his description and after alerting him to the fact that some chick was 
wanting to feel his balls and whatnot he agreed that it was indeed him described and that he needed to contact this chick (?). After sending over some pics (7 other guys had contacted her claiming to be this dude) she confirmed that my buddy was indeed the object of her lust. They went out Wednesday night and got real drunk off of wine and conversation- but with one little problem... she was quite a bit fatter than her pictures would indicate. She had some 'seriousmeat hooks' and devoured shared apps with the fervor of a jr high jack off session. Obviously, my buddy was flattered, but posed an interesting question: are people blissfully self un-aware about what they look like or do they really think that if they pack on 30 lbs between the given snapshot and a real face to belly meeting that nobody will be the wiser? I don't know. I really don't. But I guess the easy solution is to quit eating so much if your wanting to find a significant other. Or not. It's up to you...
Are we really prepared for Cub fan the next 2 months? I don't think we are. This is like the rally monkey times 10 or like BoSox fan times 100. It's a soul-sucking experience to talk to anyone with a passing interest in these guys. We get it- you're pretty good. But for an entire century you've lost- at life and baseball. So let's win a playoff series or 3 before we 'crown your asses' as Denny Green might say...
Your not so veiled accusation of the week; where exactly is the RFT getting its content from? I find it more than a little ironic that a couple of weeks after the Cougar Next Door debuts on ISTL.com that the RFT runs a cover story on it. Maybe they came up with that story line all by themselves, but it reeks of piggy backing. Without nary a mention of the contest, either.Hmmm...
Bring back Josh the bat boy. That is all...